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I'm ugly and nobody likes me

I Ugg L. Lee am the most ugly and unloved person in the whole universe, I mean it's obvious why no one would love me. With my long waves of auburn hair that cascade gloriously down my back, each strand of hair glimmering marvelously, at all times even in the dark. And my beautiful ice blue orbs that are my eyes that glisten like pools of the most beautiful ocean on a warm summers day. See I'm one ugly piece of shit, obviously.

I made to exit my room which was covered in gold and diamond encrusted gems. You see I'm really poor so I am just wearing baggy jeans and an old stained T-shirt that I stole from a homeless person. Anyway I almost made it out the door when suddenly my bitch of a mom blocks my path to shower me with love and affection or some other evil shit. The evil life ruiner opened her mouth to speak of course I rolled my eyes and scoffed before she could even get a stupid word out of her stupid mouth.  "Hey honey, here is your lunch I packed all of your favorite foods in it, and I spent an hour cutting your sandwich into a heart to show my love for you."

I just hissed at her and snatched my lunch from her hand and ran out the door, I was going to be late for my first day! "Have a nice day sweetheart I love you!" She called after me.

"Whatever Linda." I spat back. At that vile woman that birthed me out of her rancid loins.

After I left the house I climbed into my brand new convertible and made my way to school, somehow knowing exactly where to go even though I have never once set foot in my high school. Did I forget to mention that I'm 17 and I'm a junior, the age and grade that every main character in a romance book seems to be.

I unbuckled my seatbelt, which I'm wearing of course, doesn't anyone listen to Dora?

I walked towards the main building to register adjusting my nerd glasses, and pulling and pulling a random squirrel out of my hair. I haven't showered in weeks. I better save that for later I think as I tuck the (hopefully) dead squirrel into my potato sack, that like my clothes I stole from a random homeless person. Distracted by my future meal, I run into something hard. It feels like a brick wall of manly sexiness and muscles. Come to think of it this wall smells awfully good. Like, cigarette smoke and... I take another huge whiff of this wall... "Hughug" I'm interrupted from my sniffing when the wall suddenly grows arms and pushes me off of it. I look up and I have to say this wall is the hottest wall I've ever seen! The hot piece of man-wall grunted angrily and let out a long string of cuss words.