Seventeen Years of Despondency

Bittersweet Adoration

I opened my window to the vermilion leaves that had fallen from the maple trees lining our street. It looked like the road was intoxicated by fire. It looked beautiful.

"Astrid!" my mother calls out. "You ready? I'm taking you to school." I hear her say as she pops her head around my door.

"Oh it's fine, I can get the train." I reply stuffing my bag with my school books.

"Don't be silly! I'm driving you to school. Be ready in five."

This is rather odd behaviour considering its my mother. I cant remember the last time she drove me anywhere, not to even mention school.

After pulling my grey speckled sweater over my head and slipping into my all too familiar black jeans, I race downstairs to meet my mother where she is waiting at the door patiently.

"Who are you and what have you done with my mother?" I ask.

"Put your jacket on, it's cold out." She instructs.

"There she is!" I snap my fingers as she growls at me from the inside, watching me slip into my leather jacket.

As we walk to the car, I line the tip of my boots up with the patterns in the footpath, walking like a small child as I watch the engravings move past my feet.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I question as we clip in our seat-belts. "You normally don't notice if I'm breathing or not."

"If you weren't breathing you'd be dead." She replies as she turns the keys, causing the engine to growl at its early morning awakening.

"Sarcasm mom. But seriously, what's going on? Are you like dying or something?"

"No, don't get your hopes up." She laughs seriously, "I'm just focusing on catching up with my daughter. Is there something wrong with that?"

"Hmm, I suppose not." I glare at the side of her head as she focuses on trying to not hit the small children as they cross the road.

I plug my earbuds in for the rest of the trip, hitting play on my current favourite song; cigarette daydreams by Cage the Elephant. Im too busy loosing myself in the oeuvre to even think twice about my mother giving me annoying looks.

I rest my head against the cool glass of the car door and watch everything rush past us, paying attention to the lines of the road as my eyes follow behind the white trail and the curves it tackles. As we reach the highway, passing all the tall buildings, it makes me realise how small and insignificant we really are in this world. It makes me wonder what other people's lives are like. I guess I'll never know. There's so much about this world that each of us individuals don't get to discover or experience.

My mother waves goodbye to me from the front seat of the car as she awaits in the distance of the car park, waiting for me to return the wave as if it is necessary in order for her to leave. After doing so, I walk over to Quentin who has his back pressed to the tall black fence, standing with one leg against it, looking down at his phone to from what I'm assuming, changing the song as to his change in facial expressions.

"What are you listening to?" I peer over his shoulder.

"Ah let's see. A little bit of Radiohead, The White Stripes, Nirvana... Everything good." He replies, counting bands with his fingers. "What about you?"

"Just about everything great." I hum, dozing towards the front of the school.

"Where were you this morning? I was prepared to hold up the entire train for you." He asks opening the glass doors for me.