Dirty Work

My Only One

(I guess I should have learned my lesson. I didn't mean to make you hurt, hurt, hurt...)

So this was it. Alex had been away for a week now and I was going out to L.A. to see how him and the guys were doing, and it would be the first time I'd actually seen Alex since that night. I stepped out of the LAX to an awaiting tro of Matt, Rian and Zack who were beaming as they noticed me before encasing me in one big hug. "Jen! We missed you!" Matt said as we all began to laugh. After a few weird glances they all let go, with Zack taking my case as Rian and Matt showed me to the car and went through the plan for the day.

"So listen. We're gunna drop your stuff off at the apartment and meet Alex, then head to the studio okay?" I nodded after Matt explained everything and we got into the car and headed to the apartment complex the guys had rented places in while they were here recording. As we drove, the guys were asking me questions about what had happened after I left "So, did you follow us when you were at college? Like...keep tabs?" Rian asked, genuinely interested.

"Yeah...I mean, I tried not to to start off with, but whatever I did I still found myself drawn to you guys."

"What do you mean?"

"I tried not to, because I felt guilty for what I did. I mean, I didn't just leave Alex behind, I left you guys too." Rian nodded, as did Matt and Zack. "And I always felt drawn to you because...I don't know. Mom used to tell me how you guys were doing, and some of the friends I made at college liked you guys, so I found myself always finding things out, so in the end I gave in and just looked for myself."

"Did you ever come see us Jen?" Zack asked, and I looked at him and nodded.

"Four times."

At this, Matt pulled over the car into a layby and they all turned to face me. "Four times? Why didn't you tell us...or come say hi?" Matt barely whispered, looking hurt. I felt my heart twinge, I'd never wanted to hurt them. "Guys, it's taken me this long to come home. I wasn't ready to see you all again that way, please understand." I sighed with pleading eyes and they nodded, before Matt took my hand and said "Promise us you'll never do that again?" I nodded as Zack and Rian put their hands on ours, smiling.

*****

We got to the apartment complex about 20 minutes later, and after I got out, I just leant against the car, tilting my head back closing my eyes as the sun rays hit my face. A smile began to grow on my face as I felt happiness overtake all those bad things I'd lived with for five years as if none of that mattered anymore, all that mattered was that I see Alex and the other guys again. The time apart from Alex on good terms had given me time to think, and all I wanted was to see his face again.

Matt showed me to my room, and I was sharing an apartment with him and Alex. Matt opened the door and began calling Alex's name as I took my case into the room Rian showed me to as Zack poured some OJ out for us before bringing it in and telling us Alex must have left early. I sighed as I began to unpack some of my stuff before Matt came in, taking a glass out of Zack's hands and began to drink it. He then offered the idea we go straight to the studio and I unpack later, and we all agreed to go for that after I visited the bathroom.

The apartment was pretty big, and I'd opened a few wrong doors -including Alex's bedroom- before finding the bathroom, but curiosity took over and instead of going into the bathroom, I went back to Alex's door and had a look around his room. Maybe I was paranoid that he'd been bringing girls back again, but what I found on his bedside table was what looked like lyrics, so I began to read them.

'You’re just a day-dream away,

I wouldn’t know what to say if I had you,

and I’ll keep you a day-dream away,