Music Lyrics and Love #Zaylena [ON HOLD]

Music Lyrics and Love : 2

Day 2

I'm again here in the familiar hallways walking towards the door where I can get my peace, my pain away.

Trailing down with my feet in slow motion I make my way towards "the door" just to stop in front of it.

I'm in my usual outfit a blue colored flowery dress but the only difference is that today my mind is not ready to give away the pain.

Sure yesterday I wrote some lines listening to the piano but guess what had happened after that,

When I returned to the home I had completed writing it only to leave me in to pool of tears. I'm was crying till morning ,even still I have tear stains on my face.

That song was turnout to be something different from the first few I had written in the past few weeks . maybe it was because it includes some of my biggest secrets and pain.

The pain which I want to go away and the secretes which I want to bury in my heart forever; which I never wanted to tell anyone either.

I hear the sound of piano ,breaking me for my train of never-ending thoughts' . I seat at my usual place by the wall near door.

I am not in a mood to write but still my hands manage to open the book and hold the pen.

I listen to the harmony person behind door playing and it's not hard to guess that I'm not the only one in pain but he too. because the slow harmony he is playing is nearly the saddest one I had heard in these few days .

He never played this peace on the piano , always plays some nice ,something like which would enlighten your mood but today something is different may be something had happened .

I didn't even notice that I had written some words on the paper until the piano stops and I take a look of the paper laying on my thighs.

The words goes something like this

~something is really wrong today

but I can't figure it out.

But deep down I know

its much more than my thought

I just want to late it out

no matter how hard it take

But things always change,

It was never going to end well

the way I want......

*******

It's almost a month after that incident , I don't think I can forgive my self .

It eats me alive ,makes me think why i was not the one to died and why her? after all it was all my mistake. if i had never asked her to come home early only because i got the best gift for her she wouldn't have died at the same day she was born.

But now she is long away from me, dad says "she is watching everything from up there , she know the pain i am feeling behalf of her, blaming yourself for other persons drunken mistake is never going to get her back . at-lest now she is at the safest place we could ever ask for"?

I don't know how he had conceive her death so easily when he had barely cried at that day when I was crying my heart loud there in the hospital.

may be he is being strong for me, why can't he understand that he need to let it out that pain from his chest. I cant see him like this, everyday watching mum's photo ,staring at it like she gonna come alive ...its not gonna happen.

Sure he had told me several times that , she is not going to come back but then why can't he understand that.

It is equally painful when I lost her and now when I see my dad's teary face everyday when I comes home. But I think deep down his heart he knows that he break his girl will too.

I still cry every night , remembering her presence around this house with me and dad, and I think that's the main reason I started writing not just to complete her dream but to take away the pain I am feeling. and the person behind the door is just happens to be the way to relive it.

~I cant live with out you

when I knew

I am nothing but a poor

a poor person without you

I can't get away the pain

when I knew

I am the one who caused it

from the start.

I can't find my way back

when I knew

I am nothing but a loner

I am no good for you

when I know now, that

I had already lost you

being the selfish one I am..~

I promise mum, I'll live your dream and I will complete your every wish along with dad by my side safe and sound......

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-CelticLove.