With All My Heart

Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

I continued staring at the ground below my feet, not wanting to look up. I could feel tears begin to form in the corner of my eyes as the band and that green-eyed boy began to sing. It was something about starting all over again. I couldn't help but flashback to that night Tyler dumped me as the words played over and over in my head.

"Now she's feeling so low since you went solo. Hole in the middle of my heart like a polo. And it's no joke to me, so can we do it all over again? If you're pretending from the start like this, With a tight grip, then my kiss can mend your broken heart. I might miss everything you said to me. And I can lend you broken parts, that might fit like this. And I will give you all my heart... so we can start it all over again"

It described perfectly the emotions I was facing. As much as it pained me to think it, I did want to start all over with him. To make things right with him, prevent him from dumping me. I wanted to start that night all over again and change the outcome. I knew it was impossible, but I still wanted it. I wanted to feel the way I did before that awful night. I wanted to feel loved by him again. I was longing for his warm embrace. But I knew that would never happen again. He didn't love me, we would never be the same again, and that was something I couldn't change.

"So we can start it all over again.." The final note of the song rang out.

I pulled myself out of my deep thoughts and wiped the tear that had wiggled its way down the side of my cheek before looking up. The curly-haired boy's eyes were still locked on me. Curiosity getting the better of me, I leaned over and nudged Kennedy who was seated to my left.

"Who's the tall curly headed boy with the dimples?" I proceeded.

"That's Harry Styles! Isn't he a cutie?" She giggled.

"Yeah I gues..." I tried to finish.

"Do you like him? Like is he your favorite?" Kennedy quickly interrupted.

"Umm.. No? I don't know him! It's just he reminds me a lot of..of.. well you know.."

Kenny gasped at my reference. "Ohhh, I'm sorry... I just didn't realize it till you pointed it out. Wow they do look freakishly similar. Sis, are you okay? If your not.. I mean we can leave if its too much." She quickly asked with sincerity.

My mind quickly jumped. Dang it. I knew I shouldn't have said anything about Harry's resemblance to Tyler. The last thing I wanted to do was ruin Kennedy and Melissa's "girl's day."

"N-n-n-noooo!" I quickly stuttered out. "It's no big deal. Really it isn't. I-I'm fine! I j-just wasn't expecting that, that's all. I'll be okay.. Promise."

I took a deep breath and crossed my fingers hoping she believed my frantic cry to stay. I didn't want to disappoint her by forcing her to leave, just because I couldn't handle looking at one of the band members. That would've been really selfish on my part.

"Alright, alright. But only if you're sure you're okay." Kennedy negotiated.

"I'm fine, really, I am!" I answered with as much cheerfulness as I could possibly force.

Kennedy smiled and nodded. I heaved out the breath I was holding in.

"She bought it! Thankfully!" I thought to myself.

I needed to push my emotions out of the way. I didn't want another slip up to happen again, especially one that would result in Kennedy feeling the need to leave because of my boy problems. What I needed was to be happy.

I began trying to cheer myself up. "It's the thought that counts. Smile. Be happy. It's a girls night. Who cares if Harry holds the appearance of Ty." I repetitively told myself.