ー calum [ two years ago ]
all that i could hear was the pulsing in my red ears and my descending footsteps when i ran out from my highschool. i just needed to get out.
running and stumbling through the empty soccer fields that used to harbor crowds cheering me on; the illumination left with the glory a long time ago.
finally escaping those memories, i ran into an opening of the woods and even deeper into the forestry with my lungs burning from the adrenaline. hunching over and falling flat on my ass, i breathed in gasps. once my breathing somewhat settled, i wrapped my arms around my skinny legs, feeling too small and trapped in the infinite stretch of the woods.
how am i going to leave here? i have nothing going for me. i always seem to fall short of something. i thought, rubbing my eyelids with the palms of my hands.
there were those kids that had a future from birth, or the ones that were destined to be complete failures. somedays i didn't know which side of the spectrum i fitted in. but the day I realized that i was a senior with no college acceptance letters or soccer talent scouts whispering my name, it all came crashing down.
i had no future; at least a realities i didn't want for myself. frycook at burger king, pizza delivery boy, waiter, you named a poorly payed, high school grad qualified, overworked job title, that was my future.
after taking time to calm down, i walked back to school, kicking eroded pebbles and pulling a string off my oldest sweatshirt.
the scuffs on my black converse were my line of sight against the yellow contrast of the cheap plastic tile. the smell of teen spirit or sweat, danced around my nose. feet shuffling and girls laughing were hell's bells ringing in my ear. the static screen in my head. the dry spell on my voice, made me desperate for something to change.
every time i walk into school, my mind goes fuzzy and my ambitions turned into worries.
i just didn't know.
until i almost tripped over a ARMY recruiter flyer.
a/n: WOOP FIRST CHAPTER HOLLA
okay but im really excited for this book!!!!
qotd: are you excited for this ? (PLS fuel my ego lmao)
aotd: yES BC MALUM IS A SHIP IN DA STORY HOLLA TO ALL MY MALUM HOES YA
