Skinny Love

Chapter 5 - Therapy

My ship went down in a sea of sound. When I woke up alone I had everything: A handful of moments I wish I could change and a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade.

A smile graces my lips as I hear the familiar lyrics and sing along in my head, I close my eyes and rest my back against the tree behind me. The sun is shining down on me and I soak up the warmth, I turn up the volume on my phone and just listen to the music.

Give me therapy, I’m a walking travesty.

Yeah, I know the feeling. I have always refused going to a therapist though my mom insisted, I’m doing just fine on my own. I’m not gonna sit there on a fricking couch crying over something I can’t change, it’s not going to give me my dad back and it’s not going to fix me. I think I am unfixable, do I really want to be fixed though? What does being fixed really mean? I don’t want to be perfect, I just want to be me, whoever that might be…

  My right headphone is ripped out of my ear suddenly and I jump slightly before meeting the blue orbs that I most certainly know belongs to my best friend. Denise laughs and rolls her eyes at me while I send her a silent death glare, she puts my headphone in her ear and crinkles her noes at my choice of music. I press pause and turn to her expectantly, she twiddles her thumbs a nervous habit of hers and I raise my eyebrows. She smiles shyly and mumbles

“Hi there gorgeous.”  Okay, now I’m starting to get nervous. Denise never mumbles and a nervous Denise means… I roll my eyes before asking:

“Okay, out with it. What’s his name?” Denise sighs loudly and runs her hand through her hand.

“I don’t know, that’s the problem.” I scrunch my eyebrows together confused and give her a look that says; go on. She just nods before continuing.

“I met him a couple of days ago, I was running in the park at like six in the morning.” I nod in understanding, Denise has always valued keeping herself fit and in shape. So every morning that she can she goes for a run before school in the city park.

“I was running along and minding my own business listening to music. But I guess I wasn’t paying attention because I ran straight into someone.” I raise my eyebrows in surprise, I’m the one who always spaces out Denise is always in such control of herself. So this time I actually interrupt her to ask:

“What were you thinking about that made you so spaced out, you never lose focus?” Denise just rolls her eyes and shakes her head, ignoring my question she keeps explaining.

“ We both fell to the ground but I got up quickly, offered him a hand and muttered that I was sorry.” She glance at me to see if I’m still paying attention, I give her a nod in confirmation and she keeps going.

“When he got up he shot me this dazzling smile and asked how sorry I was. I just stared at him confused until he took a step closer to me and placed his hands on my hips.” I almost gasp at this, Denise may be boy crazy and very confident but I know for a fact that she doesn’t let anyone just grab her.

“I started to protest but before I got out of his grip he whispered; Sorry enough to kiss it all better?” This time I actually gasp and Denise stops telling me the story to laugh at me, I slightly hit her shoulder and she shrugs before saying:

“Darling, you are too innocent.” I feel my cheeks warm up before saying: “Shut up about me and my innocence and tell me the rest.”  She nods still giggling a little before continuing.

“I was too stunned to say anything, I guess he saw that as an invitation and he kissed me.” A smile spreads across her glossed lips and I once again raise my eyebrows at her, Denise never gets this way. She makes out with guys at parties and she goes on dates, but I have never seen her react like this to a simple kiss.

“It was bliss, honestly Sun, he was so good and the way he…” Before she gives me too much information I raise my hand and motion for her to keep going, she once again rolls her eyes at me.

“Then he let go of my hips, took a step back and said: definitely forgiven. Then he just turned around and jogged away from me.” I nod and sigh, I grab her hand in mine and smile sadly at her, she returns the smile before letting go of my hand and laying down with her head in my lap.

“I guess I’ll never see him again though, I’ve never seen him around before so.” She shrugs trying to act casual, but I see right through her. She really wants to get to know this guy and she may never have the chance, I run my hand through her hair and mumble:

“Don’t say that, you don’t know that. You’ll see him again.” She looks up at me with a grateful smile playing on her lips, but I can still see the doubt in her eyes.

“Thanks, Sunny.” I nod my head at her, she closes her eyes and turns sideways to get more comfortable in my lap and I plug in my headphones again and close my eyes. Just enjoying the moment.