The Day

(5) Running Away

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Chapter Five: Running Away

“Boy you got my heartbeat running away! Beating like a drum, and it’s coming your way! Can’t you hear that boom-ba-doom-boomboom-boom-ba-doom bass? He got that super bass.” Brent was yelling this song at the top of his lungs, as we drove over the Golden Gate Bridge, the wind in our hair, throwing it back.

“I mean, sigh, sickening eyes, I can tell that you’re in touch with your feminine side, uh.”
Brent continued on with his song, ignoring my sideways glance when he said panties, and he really seemed to be enjoying himself. I let him have his moment, and ignored the fact that he was completely embarrassing himself and me.

When the song finished, and a really inappropriate one that talked about being ‘on one’ came on, I quickly changed the station, to prevent myself from slapping Brent across the face.
He got a sour look on his face, like I had just completely ruined the moment.

“Aye girl, why you always trying to be doggin’ up on my swag?” he asked, trying on a gangster accent. He apparently thought it was hilarious, because he hit his head on the dash when I braked because he was doubling up in laughter. That got me chuckling, and pretty soon we were at a stoplight, laughing our heads off about nothing.

It had been a week since Brent and I made the discovery of each other, and we were becoming so much closer, if that was even possible. But as good as that was, it made it harder to die next to each other at the end of the day -- he even took the bullet for me once.

I was falling more in love with Brent every day. I noticed the change at the end of the day, when I had to watch him die. It used to be a deep hurt, an emptiness. But now it literally kills me too, as if our hearts are one.

And something in the bottom of my heart was telling me that maybe, just maybe, he feels the same way. But I didn’t let myself get my hopes up too high, because then I’d let myself start showing him how I feel. And I don’t want to contribute to messing up our world more than I had, so I just kept it to myself.

I heard my favorite song on the radio just then, and I turned it up louder than I meant to, the car stereo blasting. I hear my favorite part and decide to be like Brent and really let loose today, so I shouted at the top of my lungs. “The scars of your love, remind me of us! They keep me thinking that we could’ve had it all! The scars of your love, they leave me breathless, I can’t help feeling… We could’ve had it all! Rolling in the deep!” I put one of arms up, and made my hand ahorn. Brent was totally enjoying my show, he bobbed his head to the rhythm of the song, and tried to sing along, even though he obviously didn’t know the lyrics.

I looked in the rearview mirror and caught myself smiling like a fool; I didn’t remember the last time I was this happy. Maybe when they say “worriers die young,” they mean it, because free spirit people are so happy all the time. I glanced over at Brent, expecting him to be smirking, probably thinking that I was checking myself out – which I kind of was, in a way – but instead I found him staring at me with the same goofy grin I had. Our eyes met and it was hard for me to let go, his gaze capturing mine and holding it there like he had his hand on my chin.

Brent suddenly smirked cockily and said, “Take a picture babe, it’ll last longer.”

His comment blew my mind. First of all, he thought I was checking him out? Who caught who staring? And second of all, did he just call me babe?

My carefree spirit speaks up before I can stop it, and I said, “Why’d you just call me babe?” We came to a stoplight, and I crossed my arms.

“Because you’re my baby girl, Hailee!” he responded and grinned.

I was about to flirtingly tell him he was my crybaby, but then he continued with, “You’re like the little sister I never had, and I also like the mother I never wanted!”

My smile faltered and I looked straight ahead as I tried to fight back tears. He wasn’t in love with me after all… I was just like his family, one he could never have romantic feelings for.

It all made sense now, the overprotective-ness, the warmness he had towards me, all of it.
I found a nearby restaurant, and I parked right in front of it. We got out, and entered it, and before we got seated I told Brent I was going to the restroom. He nodded and told me he’d just get us some cokes.

When I got to the bathroom, I was a mess. I cried so much that my makeup smeared all over my face, and I couldn’t get it off.

Me, of all people had to get stuck loving a guy who only thought of her as his sister/mom. Why was life so freaking unfair sometimes?

I couldn’t go back to him like this. How could I have explained to him that all of my makeup came off and my nose was runny and my eyes were red? He was bound to get a clue from that.

I came out of the restroom, and I saw him flirting with the waitress, and I wanted to cry more.

I walked towards the door, to the car, and I heard him call my name. Forget him, I thought. He can find his own way home from that waitress.

I got in my car, looked Brent in the eye, and drove away.

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