Plain Jane

An Eye for an Eye

Gandhi once said that an eye for an eye will make the whole world go blind. I'm not exactly sure how this factors into my current predicament, but it was the first thing that popped in my head.

I never thought I'd die on thanksgiving, but sure enough here I am. Five minutes ago I was standing in line at the mini mart flooded with people, like me, grabbing last minute items for thanksgiving. I was worrying about my fathers reaction to the only ham I could find that were in little blue cans, and weren't even remotely close to real ham. Its literally called spam, which is basically foods version of junk mail. Anyway, I had been so focused on myself I almost didn't notice the oversized country bumpkin having a conniption two lines over about his coupons not working. Key word, almost.

I noticed first his horrific vocabulary. Instead of spewing the proper words like "your machine isn't working" it was more of a disgruntled "Ya shit ain't helpin me outta." Which if you ask me, isn't even an english sentence, much less any English words. Secondly I noticed his aroma; his stench of stale beer and pot drifted over to me from approximately 12 feet away. I silently prayed the woman checking him out with the technicolor ear rings could keep her vile from rising better than I could. After a few more choice words he ran out of the building just as I was finishing up. I made sure to walk slowly and pretend to fiddle on my phone, so I didn't have to be in anyway noticed or associated with him. But quickly my whole plan of 'pretend to play on my phone but actually be secretly observant' went down the drain when I found myself engulfed into a fight on my best friends instagram.  Thinking back now thats where my demise happened. Hindsight is 20/20.

While I checked out who was calling out who for cheating on their boyfriend, and walking to my car, Oversized country bumpkin in the jacked up camo dodge ram came through with such impetuosity, he didn't have to time hit his brakes. But don't worry he could think quick enough to slam on his poor excuse of a horn.

My head shot up and all I could think of was that stupid gandhi quote and how somewhere along the line I was mean enough to someone that my last image was of this atrocious camo dodge, and the smell of exhaust.  I'd like to tell you I jumped out of the way in an epic slow mo move that makes me become famous on youtube as the girl who needs no man to save her and becomes partners with Emma Watson on the he for she campaign, but sadly thats not the case. I just stood there and clenched my eyes closed and prayed it would endquickly.

But instead of being hit from the front, and by a truck that was still blaring it's horn I was hit by a softer, smaller, and quieter thing. Though not being a 5,000 pound truck the 200 Ibs man now sandwiching me between him and the asphalt sure wasn't as comfortable as I'd like. But I'm not complaining.

"What do you think you're doing?!" was the first thing he said. I could already tell he was hot. If the heavy british accent wasn't enough the very well defined muscles that were very prominent all over his body were. I snapped my eyes open, and was met with two emerald orbs furrowed in a familiar look of appallment. 

"What do you mean?" I asked back, my voice coated in shock.

"I mean, you just stood there. That car was going to pummel you, and you bloody well just sat there!" he exclaimed.

"I was in shock, okay? Don't scream at the girl who just almost died!"

"You're in shock?! I'm the one in shock!" He bellowed.

"Why are you in shock, mister?!"

"Because I just saved the most ungrateful woman's life!"

"Ugh! Just get off of me!"

He rolled over and I sat up to be greeted by the sight of squished blue cans.

"Not the ham." I groaned.

"You're lucky that isn't you." I turned to look at the man who saved me. Now that I'm sitting up I see he is way more attractive that I first thought. He has long brown hair to his shoulders, with a well defined face. He had a strong chin line, high cheekbones, and a long nose. Sitting down I could tell he was a lot taller than I am. With me sitting at around 5'6 he most likely sat at 6'2.

"Thanks." I grumbled as I stood to my feet.

"Thanks? I just jumped in front of a bloody car, placing myself in harms way to save your life and all I get is a thanks?" He asked dumfounded.

"Yeah and?" I shrugged.

"I should get a freaking parade here for saving literally the most ungrateful human beings life."
Was he serious? Why can't some one just save someone by the goodness of their heart, and not expect the world on the a silver platter.

"Yes well I just got saved by the most self-deserving one, so looks like we are even." I said over my shoulder as I walked to my car.

"You're welcome!" He called over to me. "What ever your name is!"

"You can call me Jane!" I called back. I wasn't sure what compelled me to tell him my middle name and the name only my family uses to address me. Maybe it was so he couldn't cyber stalk me later, I mean how many Jane Parker's are out there compared to Vern Parker's. Or maybe it was so I could have a little intimacy with person who saved my life. See, I wasn't ungrateful he was just extremely egotistical, and I didn't feel like adding fuel to the fire. Plus he probably has enough girls falling at his feet, and this plain Jane refuses to be one of them.

I headed home without any ham that day, and my dad was pissed until I told him the tale of how I almost died on thanksgiving. He proceeded to think I was lying to him out of bitterness for making me go out and brave the crowds. I then could only tell him one thing.

"Dad, and eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind."

I didn't think the day I could have died would leave such an imprint on my mind. It's like it's stamped in my brain and always making an appearance. The entirety of my thanksgiving break was left with my mind always floating back to that moment. My first encounter with death and the egotistical jerk who saved my life.

A/N: Picture of Veronica Jane Parker on the side/ top.