Plain Jane

Party hard or Don't party at all

The music blared in my ear while my whole body buzzed from the bass. I fought so hard to let myself enjoy this party but, after the typical birthday dinner with my father where we had shared maybe 7 words I was in no mood. I was used to my father being distant, but today I expected more from him. I was stepping into adulthood and even though I didn't need him I sure did want him. I don't know why I expected him to be there for me now, because he wasn't there while I grew up. I guess what they say is true. Needing is easy, but being needed was the hard part.
I was downtown at the club Phel had rented out for me. The room was filled with so many people I could probably only tell you 30 people's names. MJ was off in the corner with Dean laughing at something he'd said, while Carleigh was in the dance floor making guys drool. I knew my debby downer attitude would only ruin their fun night so I decided to excuse myself from the party down stairs. I went to the rooftop which was decorated with an outdoor garden and lights hanging around a gazebo in the middle. It was beautiful and peaceful.
Like many of my party's I have had in the past I wasn't happy. Birthdays for me have always sucked. I'd get the material things from my father, but never what I really wanted from him. Which was a dad.
I was so caught up in my thoughts I didn't hear someone walking up behind me until they cleared their throat.
"Not much of a crowds person either I see." Oliver spoke.
"No, not tonight." I replied.
"Want to talk about what's getting you down?"
I looked over at him. He was holding a red solo cup while leaning over the roofs 5 ft wall -like me- and staring out into the city.
"Just because I'm somewhat related to MJ and Carleigh doesn't mean I can't be your friend too." He said smirking.
I rolled my eyes and turned around to lean my back on the wall. I crossed my arms and looked up at the stars.
"When I was 7 my dad told my if I'd ever missed my mom I could find her in the stars." I said softly.
"Oh I didn't realize your mom-"
"Save the pity. I haven't missed her yet."
"She's your mom. Of course you miss her." Oliver said turning to face me.
"I don't see the point in missing something you can't get back." I said shrugging.
"Jane, that's really the point in missing something. It's literally the definition."
I just shrugged.
"My dad said maybe 10 words when we were at dinner tonight. He was on the phone with his coworkers from China or somewhere like that the whole time. I think I might have gotten a Happy Birthday out of him of he'd sat there without his phone, but I could be wrong." I whispered hoarsely. " it just sucks cause he's my dad and all. Like he is supposed to care, you know and it feels like he doesn't."
"I get it. I mean not completely but I get it."
"Oh crap I'm so sorry. I totally blanked on your situation."
"It's not your fault, Jane." He said then turned back to the city. "I was the unknown child. Actually I was perceived as the bastard child if we are being technical. Phel has a hard time accepting me I guess."

"Well for a man who was told he couldn't have children he seems to be having a lot." I laughed.

"He was probably sterile for like 2 minutes." Oliver joked.

"Seriously, though. How does a guy get so lucky?"

"I get it Jane, I am a catch. You don't have to tell me every five seconds."He said as he dramatically rolled his eyes.

" Oh please you're scrawny." I teased.

"I'm big where it counts." He said throwing me a wink.

"Oh god." I groaned " You are such a typical dude."

He just laughed and took a sip of his drink.

"Oliver." I whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Do you ever think you have forgotten what it's like to be happy? Like really truly happy?" I asked then looked over to him. He paused for a moment, pondering what his response would be.

"I have wondered that same thing, many times actually. When I was around 13, and my mum was too high to take care of me most of the time, I'd wondered if I knew what was true happiness was. I'd go for days on nothing but cereal, and chips. Most days I'd be cleaning up Mums vomit and feeding her chicken noodle soup from the can because I didn't know how to use the stove. I'd lose sleep at night from having to take care of her, or she's have a petty with all her friends , so I'd sleep in class. Therefore most of my teachers hated me, and I hated them back equally. But One night my mom finally was some what clean. I mean it was one day so she wasn't 100% but she was a good 63% there. She was feeling nostalgic or something and was looking at photos of me when I was younger. There was one photo in particular that stood out to me. We were at my 8th birthday party, before mum was a junkie. She had left Darius 3 years before and so it was just the two of us. We'd been at my grandmother Lynn's house and I was sitting in her lap and we were laughing. I could tell I was happy in that photo, and then it hit me."

"What hit you?"

"If a camera could remember happiness, so could I. So I promised myself to always remember that photo. When I get sad or depressed or so hopeless I don't think I can function properly anymore, I'd remember that photo. And for that moment I remember, thats all I can ever ask for. So to answer your question, I think if we try we can never forget happiness. "

I stared at him without blinking. I probably looked so stupid right now, but I was genuinely shocked by his words.

"What? Did I say something wrong?" He asked worried.

"No, no, not at all. You said something really... Right." I breathed.

We stay there for a moment looking at the city enjoying the view. The music thudded from below us, and I could hear people laughing from the street below.

"I think the birthday girl needs to return to her party." Oliver said softly.

"Only if you promise me a dance." I said throwing him a smile.

" Well, of course." he said grinning back. "Shall we?"

"We shall." I beamed.

Then we headed to the stairs.

*****

It'd been 2 hours since I'd had that talk with Oliver, and he was no where to be found. I had given up on sharing a dance with him and had been dancing with Carleigh Jean.  Mileigh Joe and had come and danced for a little bit, but had gotten swooped away by Dean Piper. Carleigh Jean and I were in the middle of  dancing along to TI and Justin Timberlake  Dead and Gone, when she was interrupted and asked to dance with some very attractive dude I had seen around. I think he went to another school, but had a similar friend group.

So now I was alone sipping on a virgin margarita. I had always loved people watching, and had found it was a very talented skill of mine. I started with people on the dance floor, but soon my eyes found the outer Ring around it more interesting.  There was a group of girls circled up and giggling. All their eyes were focused in the same direction, trained on the same thing. I followed were their eyes were looking, and saw Oliver. A wave of jealousy pulsed through me as I realized they were all checking him out. But then noticed he was watching me. I just stared at him from across the room. Our eyes never drifting too far from each other, our bodies never inching closer. He was having a conversation with a few guys from school, but never taking his eyes off of me.
We started at each other for what seemed like an eternity until he glanced away to say something to the guys. I looked down and took a sip from my cup, when my eyes flickered back up I saw Oliver heading this way. I sat up a little straighter automatically in response.
"I promised you a dance," he yelled once got to me, the music too loud to talk normally.
"And here I thought you'd forgotten." I yelled leaning forward a little so he could hear better.
He Leaned forward and whispered into my ear "I'd never forget about you."
I blushed and he grabbed my hand and pulled me to the dance floor.
It was like he was psychic because once we got to the middle a familiar tune came on.
"I requested it, the reason I took so long to dance with you is because the DJ's wait list was 2 hours long." He said lowly. Okay not psychic. Sweet. He was sweet.
"You didn't have to." I said quietly. "I mean I could have danced with you to any song."
"I wanted it to be perfect, Jane. You played this song today when you were looking for your clothes like 12 times. I knew then it had to be this song."
I blushed and rested my head on his shoulder, humming along to Tenerife Sea, by Ed Sheeran.
We stayed like this. My head in his shoulder and his cheek rested against my head. My left hand locked into his right. My arm wrapped around his back and his wrapped around my waist. I closed my eyes and focused on the smell of his cologne, the way his thumb caressed my lower back, the feeling of warmth that spread through my body as we swayed.
"I think I need a picture of this." He sighed
"Why do you say that?" I asked.
I looked up at him and he smiled.
"So I can have another way to remember happiness."
I smiled at him and laid my head back on his chest, and wished I'd never have to move.