screaming whispers (5sos sister)

one: intro

I sat with my back hunched over, hair fallen over my face like a mask. I scribbled on the bottom of my maths book, shading block letters. I was on the 'A' when my teacher asked me for the answer to question 4.

"Um, three?" I guessed, not completely sure of my answer.

I hated maths, no matter how hard I tried, I could never catch on. So when everyone in my class burst out laughing at my incorrect answer, I bit my quivering lip and started picking mercilessly at my fingertips.

My teacher sighed irritably, "you can stay behind at the end and practise your basic times tables." He put emphasis on basic, indicating that I was dumb- which I was.

I shyly went back to scribbling the 'T' on the bottom of my page whilst everyone carried on marking their work, debating questions that I hadn't even got to.

My teacher began to look through the next task of work, and when I could handle the rude comments coming from behind me about how I was 'an imbecile' and 'not capable of anything in life' any longer I got up, leaving the final letter 'L' only half completed. And in one swift move of shoving everything in my backpack, I scurried out of the classroom.

"Ms. Clifford, get back in this classroom right this instant." My teacher yelled down the corridor at me, all in vain might I add.

I sprinted through the school, I stumbled in the playground outside where all of the big kids were gathered having their lunch. Thus earning a few chuckles here and there, but mostly people taking pity on the young year 7 who looked too distraught.

I didn't slow my pace as I left the gates, I ran the entire way home which would usually be a bus journey but I had no choice at this moment in time. I got home in half an hour flat, usually the bus would take around 20 minutes so I was pretty proud.

Until I got in and looked at my appearance in the mirror.

My brother was home, probably bunking again, and was blasting his music. He didn't know I was home.

Music bound us together, he got me into heavy bands like Metallica, and I got him into softer pop-punk bands like All Time Low.

I sulked up to my bedroom that was across the hallway from his room. He had his door shut and I put my door to.

I flopped on my bed and softly sang along to One, the Metallica song Michael was playing.

The only thing I loved about History is that during lessons I would just think about this song and how much meaning the lyrics have.

"Hold my breath as I wish for death, oh please God wake me." I sang softly under my breath.

I slowly got up from my laying down position and plucked up the courage to go into Michael's room.

His room was thick with posters, the curtains were almost always drawn shut, and his bed was forever messy and unmade. Dirty clothes cluttered the floor and the parts of the carpet that you could see was stained with either booze or pizza sauce. The smell was a filthy teenage boy odour but I still preferred his room to my girly room.

My room happened to be girly under the influence of my mother, but I wasn't girly at all. I liked heavy breakdowns and rebellion just as much as my brother does, but my mother does all she can to try to make me conform and be a girly girl.

He was laying on his bed exactly how I was, legs flopped off the end touching the floor. He was staring at the ceiling but sat up when the door opened.

He frowned and shut his music off briefly. He tilted his head and motioned for me to lay beside him.

"What happened this time?" He asked. He always knew what was up. A lot of the time he can be an ass, but when we're alone together he treats me like the most important person in the world.

"Maths." We said in unison. I said it in a groan, he said it like a uniformed robot.

He sighed in exasperation. "It's a load of bullshit, don't listen to them for a second Alex."

I didn't respond. He just pressed play and continued to play One by Metallica.

We waited patiently for the breakdown at the end of the song, when we both jumped up and started jumping around, head banging and screaming the lyrics.

"Darkness!
Imprisoning me!
All that I see!!
Absolute horror!!!"

We yelled. We finished the song and held our breaths in anticipation for the next song.

When The Irony Of Choking On A Lifesaver came on, I definitely lost my chill.

"I'LL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH NO, I'LL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH!" I strummed my air guitar and bounced around with my brother, completely forgetting about my problems.

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hello! welcome to this story! 

its a michael's sister story if you couldn't tell, and this was a proper bad first chapter, but its just setting the scene, kinda

i just wanted to put something up to get the ball rolling idk, stay tuned!

vote and comment if ya wanna, itd mean the world to me

i love you all, my beautiful people

(ps can i just say how much of a ballache it was to get the book cover how i wanted, its still not perfect but it was a stressful experience)