The Substitute Teacher

Chapter 38

Joey's P.O.V.

I didn't want to let him go. If it was up to my brain I wouldn't. But my brain didn't make the decision. My heart did.

You see, I never really believed in love. I always thought it was a dumb excuse to makeout with someone on a regular basis. But it's not. And Daniel taught me that. He taught me that love is wanting to have everything revolve around one person. It is where you can enjoy your life but always tell yourself it would be better with that person. Daniel was mine. I was his. But that all came tumbling down.

Daniel also taught me another thing about love. He taught me that love is basiclly like handing a gun to someone and having them point it at your head. You have to trust them not to pull the trigger. In my case, my gunman pulled it. I don't feel the pain in my head though. I feel it in my heart.

I also never understood why people called it 'heartbroken'. But I understand now. Tears are streaming down my face, I feel like I am going to be sick, I am shaking uncontrolably, and most of all, I want to take him back. But, I can't. I can't let him know that lying is okay, because it isn't. All my life I have been built up on the thought that lying is not okay. And I am not about to let Daniel take that moral from me.

I decide to drive over to Meghan's house. We haven't talked much since Daniel and I dated. She didn't know why we stopped talking because obviously I couldn't tell her. I pull into her driveway and take a second to calm down. You are stronger that what you think. You can do anything, be anything, and dream anything if only you dared.

I knock on her door and she answers. She looks almost stunned to see me at her door.
"Why the hell are you here?" She says with obvious disgust in her voice.
"I came by to see you. We haven't talked much since August and now it is October! Time has flown huh!" I say with a smile pulling her into a hug. But she pushes me away. I can feel the hurt written all over my face. Kinda like the hurt that was written on Daniel's face when I walked out the door.
"You can't just fucking walk back into my life whenever you please! Why didn't you talk to me for two months? To busy getting hickey's from people?" She says spitting hate all in my face.
"I-I can't tell you why we haven't talked. I can't tell anyone..." I say rubbing the back of my neck.
"Well don't bring your gay ass back to my house. You're pathetic," she says as she slams the door shut.

I walk to my car and drive home. Once I am in my room I look at my phone that has been on silent for like the past 2 hours. 25 missed calls and 137 text messages. All from Daniel...

I sink to my knees and begin to ball my eyes out. I can't take him back. I can't do it. I can't take another heartbreak. Why did he have to get drunk? Why did I have to find out? The next thing I do, I thought I would never do.

I walk into my bathroom and open a drawer. I pull out a razor. My vision is fogged from tears as I break the plastic and grab a balde. I set the sharp metal to my left wrist and press down and slide it. I don't go too deep, I don't want to die. But I go deep enough to remind myself what pain going back to Daniel would cause. I go deep enough to remind myself what pain being with Daniel caused. After making about 7 marks, I put on a sweatshirt and go to sleep.

I'm not a thrill ride.
I am human.
But I guess Daniel didn't view me that way.

_______________________________________
A

uthors Note:
Make sure to keep sending me sequel name ideas. Also, if you have an idea of a cover to match your sequel title, send it to me! If I do use it I will be sure to give you credit. Thank you guys so much for reading it means the world to me! See you tomorrow xoxo <3