Save Me. [ in editing ]

Seventeen

Chase volunteered to drive today so I called shot gun. I was checking out of the hotel as they pulled the van and trailer in front of the building. Ryan and Derek had already made plans for the day and the following after.

As I sat down Chase started to pull away and I buckled my seatbelt. Ryan and Derek were rambling in my ear but I payed no attention. All I really heard was print shop and so we can sell stuff. Knowing myself I nodded my head and mumbled an 'okay'.

I leaned against the window and all I could think about was sleep since I barely got 4 hours last night. I curled up in a ball and tried to think of all the good times our band will have.

Eventually my mind floated to the thought of my dad. Is my mom okay? Is my dad after me? What if she's dead? But that could mean my dad is in prison.

I sighed and looked out the window. We were slowly making our way out of the city and into the country. I wasn't sure where we were going exactly but I trust Ryan and Derek.

What if we get lost?

Be quiet that won't happen.

What if we fail and you have to go back home to hell? Or worse?

That won't happen either.

You won't make it. You're useless and ugly, no one likes you.

That's not true.

You're just a stupid young girl that has no fucking idea what she's doing.

That's not true, I planned it, I'm not stupid. Just shut up mind.

I closed my eyes and started to hit my head off of the seat without realizing the guys were asking me what was wrong and to stop hurting my head.

I sighed again before breaking down into fits of tears. Chase pulled over at the nearest gas station and turned off the engine. The guys all tried to get me to stop crying but I just couldn't.

Chase snaked his arm around my waist and hugged me while petting my hair. I cried into his shoulder and he continued to ask what was wrong. I started to hiccup and choke on my words and tears. There was no way I would be able to talk.

I started to open the passenger side door to get out but he grabbed onto my hand. I mouthed 'I'll be right back' and went into the gas station. I grabbed a few drinks and snacks and gave the cashier a ten, telling her to keep the extra twenty cents. I went back out to the van and passed out the snacks.

"You didn't get anything for yourself?" Chase asked quietly.

I shook my head.

"Why not?" Ryan questioned.

I choked out a 'Not hungry' and left it at that.

It was quiet in the van for the next few hours that Chase drove. Eventually I did get hungry but I didn't say anything.

Ryan was driving now and I had fallen asleep against the window. It was around four-ish when I woke up. I looked over at Ryan and he smiled a weak smile at me before turning his head back to the road.

"Have a nice nap?" He asked tiredly.

I nodded my head. "If you're tired I can drive for an hour or two while you nap if we're just staying on this freeway." I offered.

"No, I'm about to exit it to get to the House of Blues."

"That's where we're playing?"

"Mhm, best I could get. Offered 500 dollars and free t-shirts."

"Awesome." I smiled.

"I need to do my makeup and figure out what to wear, we need to sorta be matching."

"Yeah, but most important we need to look professional but silly." He said seriously.

"I got that in the bag Ryan!" He chuckled at me.

"Okay." He said as he pulled into a parking space reserved for us. "We're here. Guys! Wake up Sleeping Beauty's!"

I laughed and got out of the van walking into the building to find someone to talk too about what we do and such. I waited around a bit and a lady walked into the area I was in. She smiled at me softly.

"I'm guessing you are part of the band that is playing tonight?" She asked still smiling.

"Yes, actually, I didn't call or anything but our bassist did."

She laughed. "He was very convincing, we have a little surprise for you guys that you should enjoy."

"Should we look our best?" I asked playfully.

She nodded. "Defiantly, you guys can start to set up on the stage and we'll have some of our workers help you guys out a bit."

"Okay, awesome. Thank you!" I turned and walked out of the building and to the trailer. The guys were talking to the workers as I opened the back up.

"Okay guys, the nice lady said we should look our best tonight. So we need to look very professional and like how we always want to dress as a band."

"Face paint?" Ryan asked.

"Simple lines, just a few. But we can still do the circle and x." They nodded and I grabbed our bags and threw them to the guys.

"Let's get to work then!"

We set up the stage and decided on what to play. We got dressed, ate lunch and dinner, did our makeup and hair, and sat down in the stage lights an hour before the show drinking Monsters.

Trust me, we needed the kick of energy after our long day. To think, after our show tonight we'll have to pack this all back up and move on to another venue.

I took a sip from my Monster and brushed my fringe out of my eye. I looked over at the guys and made sure they looked the same they did an hour ago.

In check. I looked back at them again.

Double check.

Sometimes I feel as if I've gone mad. Mad...

I jumped off the stage and grabbed my notebook that was sitting in a front row chair.

"Whatcha doing?" Chase asked.

"Writing some lyrics down. How do you feel about a song called Mad?"

"Sounds interesting."

"Once we finish this album we should name it Mad. So what do you think?" I was jumping with excitement.

"I like it, I think we should finish getting ready since the show starts in about 15 minutes."

"Yeah, that too." I grabbed my Monster and went back to the dressing room. I thanked the professional stylists and all the people that helped us set up. There was a camera man recording our show tonight professionally too.

I was so happy I started to cry some. The paint on my face ran down some. Looking in the mirror I saw they made a black little tear. I decided to keep it.

I heard the announcer say the our bands name and we quickly put on our head sets and ran into the stage.

I took a breathe and closed my eyes in front of the mic. I opened my eyes to see a full house of excited people.

This was going to be fun I thought as a humongous smirk appeared on my face.