Love, Light and Blood (Owari No Seraph)

Chapter 1: A Fragile Child

We lived in an old and ragged apartment. The building was no better. It was dark and dirty and the landlord was an old, loud man with a large belly that hanged over his belt and a balding head. He always scared me with his low, booming voice and his pounding footsteps that seemed to let you know that he was coming.

I was the youngest in my family, the oldest being my brother, Heiki. He had dark red hair that was brushed back and slightly spiky. His eyes were red as well and intimidating. Everytime I would look to him, he would give me a scary look as if he was plotting something.

Our relationship wasn't always like this. It used to be a nice and happy one. But that was so long ago, it feels like a dream. My parents weren't alcoholics, my brother didn't hate me. And my sister wasn't sick.

My sister, Shizumi. Her face was pale and she was always in bed. She was terribly weak with no way to get out of it. She would always sleep. Seeing her like that always made me feel guilty. But she was the only person who was nice to me. She would never yell at me. She would always smile and tell me to look up and smile. And I did. I loved her with all my heart. I always stayed by her side.

"I'm alright, Siri." She said as she caressed my cheek. "I'll beat this sickness in no time and then we can play all the time."

"Really?" I smiled happily.

"Really."

"Ok. I look forward to it." My gaze shifted to the ground. "But Mama and Papa.....they hate me."

"They don't hate you."

"They always hit me." I said as tears filled my blue eyes.

"Everything will blow over, before you know it. It'll be like it was a bad dream."

"But I don't like bad dreams."

"I know you don't. I'll always be here to wake you up from those bad dreams."

Later on that night felt like a bad dream. I could hear through the thin wall, my sister having another one of her coughing fits. They scared me. The way they sounded was like something would pop out of her throat.

"Shizumi." I whimpered. I crawled out of bed and gripped the teddy bear in my hand and walked to my sister's room. She was sitting up in bed and coughing violently.

I slipped my teddy bear into her bed like a good luck charm and she gave me a pained smile. Her coughing slowly died down and I wanted to give her a hug. Shizumi held the bear and laid back down and looked at me with a sad expression.

"....Siri." She said softly. I could see in the dark something glistening in her eyes.

"Yes?"

"I....may not have...much time left.... and I want you to know that I love you."

"What are you talking about? Shizumi!?" I gripped her hand in my small ones and tears formed in my eyes.

"It's alright...go back to bed." She smiled weakly.

"You're coughing again."

"It's nothing to worry, Siri." She spoke hoarsely, as if coughing sapped all the energy out of her.

"Alright. I love you too, big sister. I want you to get better."

"Me too. And then we....can play...all the t-time..." Tears glistened in her eyes and she covered them with a smile.

Shizumi, took my hand and the placed something in it. I opened it up and it was her locket. "Why?"

"So...you can...always remember me.."

"I'll never forget you! Never ever!"

"I won't forget you either... now..go to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

"OK." I turned away and as I left the room, I heard the shuffling of the sheets from Shizumi moving around in her bed.

I woke up the next morning to tears. I heard loud sobs coming from the distance. Who was crying? I pulled my sheets away from me as slipped out of the bed. I opened the door and those sobs became louder. They were coming from Shizumi's room.

I came to the room and stood in the doorway. I peeked in slowly and my parents were there. My mother was kneeling on the floor, her shoulders shaking and she was wailing loudly. My father stood above her and he looked so stiff and he just stared at Shizumi who was still asleep in bed. Almost like he was expecting something.

I stepped inside quietly and went to my sister. "Big sister...." I said. "It's time for you to get up now..."

My mother only cried harder and my father went to comfort her.

"Big sister...? What wrong? Are you still tired....?"

  "Siri..." I just barely heard my mother say my name, she looked at me with puffy, red eyes. "Stop..."

Everything from there went downhill. My parents barely ever said a word to me. Even if they did, it was always curses or threats. I was only two when my sister died.

I endured so much pain in the following years, enough to make even a grown man mentally snap. My mother and father were always fighting. My mother would always go somewhere by herself and cry for hours.

My father started drinking heavily and this made problems worse. He became violent. He would always hit my mother, and when she wasn't around, that abuse was let out on me. If I were to so much as breathe wrong, I was hit.

Along with that, my brother was also inflicting pain. I would always have cuts and bruises that would never heal.

Mother eventually started coming home late at night, claiming that she had been given extra shifts at work. But I never bought that, and neither did my father. I knew, that she was with someone else. It must have been her co-worker.

What a slut.

The fact of knowing this made my father even angrier. He drank double the amount of alcohol he did before. My mother was home even later to the point where, there were times when she wouldn't even come home.

I was there alone, hoping that someday, that I would be saved. My tiny body was always in pain. My head always hurting from shedding tears that had run dry a long time ago. The necklace given to me by my sister was the only thing that kept me alive.

I sat on the floor crying and bruised and cut. I hated this family. I wished they'd all just die.

I crawled into bed and gripped the bear and necklace in my hand. My head pounded from the thoughts that wished would disappear as well as from the tears that just seemed to never end.

"Goddammit I hate you." I heard my brother say, waking me up from my slumber. I could feel him grab my arm and drag me out of bed forcefully.

"H-heiki. What are you doing?" I said trying to get out of his grip. "Stop it! Let me go!"

"Stop resisting."

I felt fear grown in my heart as he dragged me out my room and down the narrow hallway. I lost all my sense of trust at the moment and screamed. "Somebody! Help me!" I cried.

"Shut the hell up. No one can save you anymore. You've become nothing but a nuisance to us. Ever since you were born. It's your fault that Shizumi's dead. It should have been you. It should've been you who got sick. Not her."

He continued pulling me and stopped in front of a closet. I could barely see but there was a rope tied into a loop.

He grabbed me by the hands and tied them behind my back. I kicked and screamed trying to break free but nothing worked anymore. This was the end.

He picked me up and put my head through the rope. I sobbed loudly. He moved away the chair from under me and all my crying stopped abruptly. My airway was blocked and the roped squeezed into my neck. I twisted around like anyone would when they're being hanged, for no reason except that they want to live. Like all those people, I wanted to live. But I also wanted to die. I would be able to see my sister again. I wanted to feel her warm embrace and her hand in mine. I wanted to talk to her again.

Shizumi....why? You promised you would make all the bad dreams go away. Please....I want to wake up now.