Defect

[chapter 11]

"Um, no offense, but what exactly is the work?" Jax asked, looking at me like I was crazy. I guess she wasn't so far off the mark, considering the situation.

"It's... it's a long story, but the short version is this: The reason I've been acting so weird lately is that I joined up with a rebellion against the Evos and they told me I wasn't allowed to tell you guys about it. All the chaos is because one of them found us meeting in the attic and we had to get out. So... yeah. That's what happened. And now we've gotta figure out what to do."

The reactions were... varied. Sofia, who was pale as a sheet, hadn't moved a muscle since I said 'rebellion', while Alex had simple stiffened, keeping his face carefully masked. And Jax did exactly what I was expecting--got pissed.

Honestly, that seemed to be her reaction to most of my actions lately.

"Okay, one, since when have you kept secrets from us, and two, we deserve the long version. That's the least you could do, considering the circumstances."

I winced, knowing she was right. But how do you go about saying, Oh, and by the way, I've been lying about myself from the very first moment we met. Hope you aren't angry.

I hadn't ever become attached to anyone for precisely this reason, and now, the universe had decided to let my luck run out. This was probably one of the worst ways something like this could've happened.

I looked at Aretha for support, but her gaze clearly portrayed her feelings.

You're on your own for this one. I didn't want to bring them, remember?

Great.

"Look, I'll answer all your questions and let you make your own decisions about whether or not you'll help later. For right now, though, we need to get to safety. In case you didn't notice, we didn't exactly make an inconspicuous exit."

Even their anger couldn't hold up to cold, hard logic, and after some debating, we set off. We went towards the lavender farms, in part because we could follow our noses and in part because it was our best shot at local transportation we could steal to get away fast.

I took in deep breath after deep breath of the cold night air, willing the chill to seep into my bones and calm my pounding heart. It didn't work--all I could think about was the look on their faces when they realized I'd lied about so much of myself.

C'est la vie, I supposed.

***

An hour later, we were hurtling down the freeway in a stolen pick-up truck with a broken heating system and a radio that seemed to be stuck on some techno music station. I didn't have anything against techno music, but after three hours, it all start to sound the same.

On the other hand, I didn't want to turn it off, because the tension in the car would almost definitely suffocate me.

Aretha was driving, while I sat shotgun, and Alex, Sofia, and Jax were crammed in the back. Several times, she had demanded that we explain everything. I'd helpfully become temporarily deaf, and then turned to ask how much longer it was until we arrived wherever we were going.

I'd asked Aretha, but she'd simple replied (sort of tensley, actually) that I'd see when we got there. On those occasions, Jax smirked triumphantly, and I could practically feel the See? Not so fun when it's you radiating off of her. I decided not to both Aretha anymore, partially because I was lazy and mostly to annoy Jax.

Yeah, we were really mature about this whole thing.

It was only an hour later that all of that suddenly felt so young, so frivolous. It was only an hour later that I could feel my heart shatter, brittle as glass. An hour later that I realized just how few of my old scars had truly healed. An hour later that disbelief and betrayal snaked through my body, curling around my heart and stomach, a numbness spreading through my body like frost. And it all started with two words: