Paper Hearts (boyxboy)

The Dream

I wake up in a hot sweat, sitting straight up in my bed, panting furiously and flashing my eyes around the room. It takes me a moment to gather myself and realize where I am. Once my head is in the right spot, I fall back down onto my pillow. This one must have been one hell of a nightmare.

Thinking hard for a moment, I try to recall what I dreamed about. No matter how hard I try, I can never seem to remember my dreams, just the small details. All I can conjure up at the moment is that Andrew was there. And...I think he was saying my name. Other than that, all I recall is a dark room.

I feel like I'm taking a bath in hell, so I throw the sheets off and lay there for a second panting. After a minute, I peer down at my damp body. "Whoa!" I exclaim aloud, "Looks like someone woke up before me." I'm just about to deal with my situation when I hear a knock at the door.

"Shit!" I mumble,  turning on my side and throwing the covers over me as fast as I can. Suddenly my dad bursts through the door into my room with the usual snarl on his gruff face. "Get your ass up. You'll be late for school."

I rub my eyes. "Why did you knock if you were just going to barge in any way?"

He scoffs, ignoring me as he walks back out. He rarely wakes me up, the only times he does is when he needs me to do something for him. He'll probably ask me to take Lilli to school.

I don't really understand my dad. He's a christian man, goes to church every Sunday, snarls at the heretics and the non-believers like he was raised to do. However, unlike the other religious people I know who turn their head from things they dislike, my father is the violent type. He deals with disagreements the way any red-blooded American psychopath would: unrelenting hatred and violence. He's very short, but visibly very strong. I'm a bit scared of him; he'd kill me in a fight. In high school and college he was the champ quarterback, mom even said he could've gone pro. He met her though, and decided to have me. Mom told me years ago that he was really sweet back in the day. I guess that changed the older he got, and it got even worse after we lost mom. I don't have much respect for my dad, though. I mean, he claims to be so "devoted to his religion," but not devoted enough to stay faithful to my mother. Not to mention, it's his fault that she's gone. And if he ever found out that I kissed a boy last night, he'd probably waterboard me with holy water.

I'm glad he doesn't speak to me much, I have nothing to say to the man. Sometimes isolation is better, anyway.

I shake the thought of my parents out of my head and peel the cover back off. Now that I'm alone, I'm free to take care of my little friend. As I lay there, doing the solo tango, my mind drifts off to far away places. What's really on the surface of the moon? Would Joan Jett be into me? Maybe I should break up with Carly. Maybe we've already broken up by default, I'm pretty sure that happens after not talking for a while. What if they made a character just like Deathstroke, but funnier and more bad ass? I bet Andrew reads comics. No, I bet he watches The Golden Girls on his free time. I wonder what he's doing right now.

Oh look at that, all done. I pop up out of bed right away, sprightly and ready to take on the day. After a quick trip to the bathroom, I throw on some jeans and a pricey tee-shirt with a collar, real classy. I stop and study myself in the mirror for a moment, contemplating the jeans. "Nope." I say in defeat, tearing them off and grabbing a faded pair with holes in the knees. "Too scruby." The next I grab is a plain dark blue. "Too jock." I go through three more until I'm satisfied with one pair. My lettermen jacket goes on to top it all off, and then a quick squirt of cologne from the mall.

Another glance in the mirror and I purse my lips, unhappy with the outcome. I guess I look decent today, but just not good enough. But good. I'm not really sure why I'm trying so hard, it's just a normal day. It's not like I kissed a pretty girl or something. This boy means nothing to me. I'm not gay. I just...I want to impress him. Maybe because now I know that he wants to be friends too. The kiss was just the product of an emotional moment between two friends. There's nothing wrong with that. I have no physical attraction to this boy.