Adore *Nate Maloley*

chapter 4

"We'll the thing is" I paused not wanting to remember, not wanting to uncover the sorrow and pain I've been hiding and avoiding for years. "I was pregnant. I was pregnant and I lost the baby"

I shoved my head into my hands causing pressure on my eyes hoping that it would keep the tears in.

"W-was it mine?" Nate asked turning his body to me to remove my hands from my face. I couldn't say anything so I nodded. I kept nodding until I felt dizziness take over my body.

I woke up in a dark room, there was hardly any light since the curtains were closed. I rolled over glad to see no one was next to me. As soon as my eyes adjusted to the darkness I realized I was in Nate's room.

I got out of his bed and nearly fell. Why was I so out of it lately? I regained my balance and walked downstairs. I was confused because the house was completely silent. I searched everywhere and didn't find anyone so I called a uber since my car was still at the studio.

I closed my eyes and thought about everything that happened today. I couldn't keep letting the guys see the weaker side of me. I had to leave again before they find out everything I did while I was gone.

My phone buzzed signaling the car was here. I got up and locked the front door before shutting it. I silently got into the car and told the driver the directions back to my place. I leaned my head against the window and thought about where I'd leave to this time. Maybe new York or Colorado.

As soon as we pulled up to my apartment I paid and ran out of the car. When I was finally in my apartment I decided that if I was leaving that I'd go out with a bang. It was better to get sleep now so I could party all night and be on the road by 12 tomorrow.

I changed into a large shirt and lay back down. My bed was way better than Nate's he always liked the harder beds while I only liked the softer ones.

I woke up to my phone ringing. I looked at who it was and seeing that it was Sam I ignored it. I looked at the time and saw that it's 9:30. I should really get up and start getting ready but instead I laid there for another ten minutes before dragging myself to the shower.

After I got out I wrapped a towel around me and began to blow dry my hair. I then straightened my hair. I walked out of the bathroom and into my room to find what I was going to wear. I searched through my closet until I found a black dress that shows a little more skin than I'm used to but hey I said I was gonna go out with a bang right?

I filled in my eyebrows and applied eyeliner and my favorite mascara. I finished off the look with red lipstick and red heels. I went to my mirror and took a picture for snapchat and a picture for instagram

I grabbed my keys and locked my door before leaving. I planned on going to a few party's tonight so I couldn't get completely wasted during the first one. The drive to the first party wasn't too long but when I finally arrived it felt like forever. I was excited to be near alcohol again, even thought I went out only a couple of days ago.

I practically ran from my car to the house. I opened the door to smell the familiar smells of sweat, alcohol, and weed. I went straight to where everyone was dancing and began grinding on some girl. I felt eyes on me but I wasn't surprised to see that Sam was the one staring. I walked away from the drunk girl and approached him.

"Whats up?" I asked grinning

His usual fuckboy smirk appeared on his face "nothing much baby"

I rolled my eyes knowing he was drunk so I walked away. This party was lame. I was about to leave when someone called my name. I turned around and saw Kevin holding a few baggies up in the air. I smiled to myself and walked over knowing this is exactly what I needed to start out my night

I lined up the coke into three sections and then I snorted two, leaving a line for Kevin. Kevin and I used to fuck around a for a while, he always had the best drugs. I turned to Kevin once he was done and pulled him by his shirt. We we're close to the point where I could tell exactly the last thing he drank. I pushed my lips on his and he immediately responded by kissing me back. His hand reached up into my shirt and I knew exactly where this was going.

"Lets go upstairs baby" he whispered