Heart (A phanfiction)

chapter 4- brick laying

Living is harder than dying

Dan had counted. Counted every minute. Every hour.

Phil had been gone 3 hours and 6 minutes. Dan knew because Phil left at exactly 10 o'clock. Dan didn't know if he'd honestly expected Phil to return but he had wanted him to.

Dan had been the only one to come up with an idea for a piece of work. Whilst Dan sat with Tyler and his group he'd been sketching a rough idea, causing a few people to question him about his love for art. It was simple conversation but Dan loved every minute. Talking about the way the pencil scratched across the paper and the way pens glide.

Dan had quickly fallen in love with the group of friends, no doubt. It was strange though because his eyes kept trailing for that blue eyed boy with hair as black as it gets. A slender frame, a jumper that he had noticed was different to everyone else's.

He'd been looking for Phil.

Even though he shouldn't.

Should.

Dan had laid more bricks in his wall of defence for Phil in that one art lesson. The more he thought, the more it hurt. The more bricks.

It was soon the end of the day after a traumatic lesson of maths. Tyler and Dan started walking home in a comfortable silence, occasionally shoving each other and laughing.

"So you have a crush on Phil Lester?" A crush, what an awful word. What an awful way to describe attraction.

"No." Dan bluntly stated. "Talia maybe." Oh you-

"Fucking idiot." Tyler spat. "You don't fall for girls like Talia!"

Girls like Talia

Boys like-

Girls like Talia.

"Why not?" Dan pouted. Ice-y eyes flooded in his mind.

"Because girls like Talia are emotionless." Tyler explained. "The don't think about love in the way you should." Tyler's eyes were suddenly on the floor.

"Tyler, are you okay?" Dan asked softly. The sudden sadness that Tyler had acquired left Dan with a pit of guilt.

"Dan...I just miss Troye, we have real love ya know?" Tyler softly spoke about his boyfriend.

Dan grew angry with himself. How dare he say Talia? How dare he lie about anything to do with love when Tyler has real love. Dan's mind clouded.

"Do you think I have a...crush on Phil Lester?" Dan knew it was a stupid question. Of course it was. Dan was never any good with questions.

Tyler had a small smile on his face, he knew something Dan didn't. That bothered him.

"I don't know Dan. To be honest, you seem in denial." Tyler spoke matter-of-factly.

"Tyler, how do I even know if I like someone, who I'm sure I don't, if I've never felt attraction before?" Dan had felt attraction. He lied. However attraction seems like such a simple word and attraction was not what he was feeling. Unless it was but Dan was too confused to even ask himself.

Tyler didn't answer his question.

By the time Dan had reached his house Tyler seemed to change. Tyler had an answer.

"You live life on caution Dan, live life like it should be lived and stop questioning." Dan had no idea how to answer that but Tyler had already left. Dan held his breath before pushing his front door open.