Loving The Bad Boy

Chapter 7

*2 Weeks Later*

I sit on my bed reading my book and watching the rain pour down outside my window. It's the middle of October, so it's raining a lot.

Ever since the big accident when it rains it brings back memory's or flashbacks that I don't want to remember. Instead of going on with my normal routine I like to just sit in my room and try and relax as much as possible on rainy days.

"Hey Stel." Emily says as she opens the door to my room quietly and slowly, "Can we come in?"

I just nod and go back to staring out of the window. Jacey, Lacy, and Emily all sit on my bed with me.

"Stel, come on you can't do this every single time, you're never gonna get better." Emily says, trying to get my eyes to meet hers, but I just keep my gaze on the rain outside of the window.

"Stel, please we care about you." Lacy pleads.

"Stel, they-"

"Don't say it Jacey." I say, cutting her off and giving her a stern look.

"Stel, don't do that we are just trying to help." Emily says.

"I don't want help."

"You can't do this everytime."

"Emily-"

"We care about you and-"

"Emily-"

"We don't like seeing you like this it-"

"Emily! Dammit I don't want help!" I yell, throwing my hands in the air as I turn towards her, "I don't want to be happy! It's not fair for me to live my life like nothing happened, It's not fair that I'm the only one who gets to continue my life. It should have been me! I shouldn't be happy if they aren't able to be happy!" I yell, letting out a quiet sob as I cradle my hands in my lap.

"It should have been me." I say, lowering my voice and panting, I'm out of breath from yelling so much. "It should've been me.." I feel so weak, tired, just done in general. I can feel the tears building up in my eyes and I try to keep them from falling, but I just break down hysterically.

"Oh Stel, no no no don't blame yourself." Emily says as she holds me in her arms and I bawl into her shoulder.

"It's not fair." I say in between cries.

"We know Stel, it's ok it'll all be ok." Emily says soothingly.

By this time all the girls are holding me in a big hug as I cry. I'm so tired and weak that I just cry myself to sleep in the girls' arms.

*****

I wake up to the smell of bacon and the sun beaming through the curtains into my room. I sit up, my head immediately feels like it's gonna explode it feels like the worst hangover ever and the sad part is, it's not even a hangover headache.

As I walk to my bathroom I feel like jello and my legs feel as if they are gonna collapse. My eyes are puffy and I look like a mess.

I splash my face with cold water, brush my teeth, put my hair in a messy bun, and change into grey joggers and a loose black shirt, trying to make myself as presentable as possible.