2nd Art/Rant Book

.....

So you want to kill yourself?

"If I killed myself tonight, the stars would still appear, the sun would still come out, the Earth would still rotate, the seasons would still change... so why not?"

Fuck this. Fuck those words so much.

Do not tell me

your best friend

would not sit at your lunch table

for three fucking days

just staring blankly at your old seat

wishing that you were there

to fill the space with laughter.

Do not tell me

your younger brother/sister

would not break down

in the middle of class

because you guys started talking about

your favorite type of subject

in school.

DO NOT TELL ME

your mother

would not stare into the mirror

with trembling lips

wishing she could be

bringing you home from the hospital

rather than having to escort you away

in a casket to the nearest graveyard.

Do not tell me

your father

would not begin working

the night shifts

to distract himself

of the silence at home

because you're not up

until the ungodly hours of the night

laughing on the phone with your friends.

Do not tell me

your boyfriend/girlfriend

would not go into your room

and put on the last hoodie you wore

trying to desperately imprint

your scent onto their skin

so they never forget your smell.

Do not tell me

your friends

would not stare blankly

at the gymnasium wall

after the principal has announced

your death

to the entire school

making no sound

trying to convince themselves

this is just another one

of your impractical jokes.

Do NOT fucking TELL ME

this bullshit line

of how the stars would still appear

and the sun would still come out

and the Earth would still rotate

and the seasons will still change

because without

YOU..

you little beautiful piece of human being..

none of these people will want

ANY of that to happen.

ESPECIALLY ME.

You do not know how much I fucking care. 

I do not want to lose my fucking friends.

They mean everything to me.

Especially a certain friend

of which I've known for 2 years.

And all the fun times we've had

And all the memories we share.

I will not lose you.

I refuse to lose you.

And

Just because I'm emotional right now

doesn't mean I want you to leave.

I want you to stay.

Put the razor down.

Look in the mirror.

You are strong, beautiful, and an amazing friend.

Do not let anyone tell you different.

Smile.

Be confident.

For me and yourself.