Specks Of Dust [Kaylor]

A Nocturnal Realization

Sometimes, I like to think that the words 'pretty' and 'beautiful' have different definitions.

'Pretty' feels like a fluttery, playful thing. Cherry blossoms are pretty. Chirping birds are pretty. They're lovely, but they don't really last.

'Beautiful', it just feels like so much more. It carries a sort of elegance that prettiness couldn't achieve. It exists, beyond other things.

It felt, to me, like this evening, every moment was such a beautiful thing, a world of its own to get lost in. It was an evening that would stay between me, the girl that shouted at the universe, and the stars.

"Hey, can I stay over at your place tonight?" Taylor asked, as we carefully walked down the hill, trying not to slip through the silky grass.

"Why, is something up?" I asked.

"I don't know. It's Halloween season. I feel like making terrible graffiti art, on a house that isn't mine." She bumped into me with her shoulder, almost causing me to fall back onto the hill.

"I'm kidding. I just have thing going on today. I sort of need a friend."

"I-uh..." I stammered, not sure of what to say.

"Speechlessness is your kinda thing, huh?" Taylor laughed lightly.

It's your fault, I wanted to say.

I didn't, though, because apparently, speechlessness really was my kinda thing.

"You want a friend over on a school night?" My mother asked. She would've spoken in the same disbelieving voice if I'd said that I wanted to join the Justice League.

"Mom, 'school night' means 'night before school'." I calmly said.

"So?"

"It's Friday."

She didn't speak for a while, and I was beginning to fear she had put the phone away without hanging up.

"Mom?" I asked.

She sighed.

"Your dad and I've got a lot of work and we're not home tonight, so if your friend wants to stay over, whatever happens is your problem."

I guess it counted as a yes.

She hung up the phone without a goodbye.

"I guess our doors are open for you." I said to Taylor, who had been standing by and admiring whatever star she could find.

"I really appreciate it, Karlie." She hugged me, and pulled away before I got a chance to hug back. With a nearly-beaming smile, she said. "Thanks."

We took the bus home, getting weird looks from the odd passenger that wasn't in the mood for Halloween. It was technically supposed to be on the next day, but you know, "screw the rules" and whatnot.

When we reached my doorstep, Taylor hesitated for a moment. It wasn't because of anything she noticed around our house. She was clearly looking over at the neighbours' car; the Harris' car, to be exact.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked, having already opened the door. The warmth from the inside of the house was highly inviting but she was still standing outside.

"Hmmm? Oh, it's nothing." She waved the topic off and entered the house, and I followed right behind.

Whatever she had against that black McLaren was a mystery to me.

"You've got a really nice house." She noticed. "Thanks, I guess." I shrugged.

What was I supposed to say? 'Thanks, I grew it myself.'?

"Kim? Kariann? You two home?" I yelled through the house. My voice echoed through presumed emptiness for a bit, but an answer came soon enough.

"We're up here!" Kariann shouted back. Kimberly emerged from her room and looked down at us. "Hey, I think we gotta leave the house. Karlie's got a date."

I remained silent and quickly glanced at Taylor, who didn't seem to be paying attention.

Thank god.

I glared at Kim for what I presumed was a terrible joke.

"Okay, okay, don't get all 'death glare' on me, I'm going." She walked back into her room.

"So, I can lend you pyjamas or something, alright?" I asked. Taylor nodded. "That'd be nice."

Dressed in whatever I could find in my drawer, Taylor and I sat on the floor in my room, talking.

Just talking.

Then an awkward silence appeared out of nowhere.

"Do you wanna watch a movie or something?" I asked.

"Sure, what've you got?" She asked.

I rummaged through the shelf of DVDs on my shelf, and after an endless search through seasons of "Friends" and some half-watched romances, I found a copy of "Friday the 13th" that my dad had given me once.

"It's spooky season, what do you think?" I asked, showing her the cover. She nodded almost immediately in agreement.

As we watched the slashfest that is "Friday the 13th", I couldn't help just glancing at Taylor now and then.

I mean, this was a girl who seemed capable of changing the world to whatever she wanted it to be.

And she was just lying here, next to me, with oceans instead of eyes that twinkled when she laughed, and when she screamed at whatever jumpscares waited in the cabins at Camp Crystal Lake.

I woke up around two A.M. that night, and felt momentary panic when I didn't recognize the surroundings due to it being different to what I normally woke up to.

Then a rhythmic breathing close to me pulled me out of my frightened state into what I saw was still my bedroom, but from a different angle.

I was now sitting up on the air mattress, with Taylor breathing at a regular pace to my left. Her hair was no different, barely a bit messier, to when she was awake.

Unbelievable.

The room was illuminated by the TV against the wall. Chromecast had shut itself on after the movie had finished, and it was displaying some photos that some people had shared on some website.

I was supposed to stand up and turn it off and go back to sleep, but I found that I just couldn't bring myself to move.

I sat there for a few very long minutes, staring as the scenes changed and changed again, and a picture of a bridge came up.

In my entire life, I had never thought that the $40 gimmick that is Chromecast would ever have any impact on my life like it did then.

I swear, as I stared at that bridge, lit up by these countless tiny stars along its side, I realized that I was not at all what I had pictured myself as for my entire life.

Until just recently, I had barely talked back to my mom, ever. I hadn't had such pronouncedly negative thoughts about my sisters' achievements. It felt like I could trace it all back to Taylor, and the day she first appeared.

I didn't feel angry at her for making me question what I even was to my own family.

I didn't feel miserable.

I felt grateful.

And so, as I stared at that bridge and fell in love with the place I'd never visited, and as I stared at this girl lying next to me, I fell back onto the bed, and I continued to sleep, because I could and I wanted to.