Specks Of Dust [Kaylor]

An Apologetic Confection

  I spent Sunday stress-baking.

There was nothing I could say to Taylor that sounded better in a text message or a phone call than in person.

Of course, she was probably expecting details, some justifiable explanation. I felt like I couldn't provide one.

"My sisters auditioned at this thing and we had a surprise celebratory dinner."

She could think that I valued my twin sisters' little victory over a movie with her.

Of course, "blood is thicker than water", but when blood is rotting and water is fresh, what should I do?

Baking, that's what.


While the cookies were baking in the oven, I twiddled my thumbs nervously, scripting what I would say to Taylor.

"Hey, my parents pulled me to some weird dinner. I'll make it up to you!"

"Hey, I was sort of celebrating my sisters getting some part in the theatre."

"Hey, I--"

My monologue was interrupted by Kariann entering the kitchen.

"Ooh, cookies!" She exclaimed when she saw what was in the oven. "Not for you!" I hissed suddenly.

I felt like that was the wrong thing to do.

She raised her hands defensively. "Alright, alright, you don't need to get like that!"

I returned to watching the cookies and monologuing internally for a split second before I heard a scream right next to me.

"Mom, Karlie won't give me a cookie!" Kariann shouted.

That's how my mother got involved.

She came down the stairs in a hurry, her blond hair messed up. She had probably been asleep until now.

"Jesus Christ, what is wrong?" She screamed, clearly irritated.

Before I got a chance to clarify, Kariann took the lead in explaining. "Karlie's baking cookies, and now she said she doesn't want to give me any!"

"Karlie, for god's sake, just give her some cookies!" My mom's voice carried an obvious tone of exasperation.

"Yeah, sure, why don't I just devote my entire life towards pleasing my siblings?" I wish I could've said.

"She can piss off, Kariann's not the one I bailed out on in the movies!" I snarled inside my mind, but most importantly, one phrase almost shocked me when it popped into my head.

"You tell me I should make my own decisions, but when I do, you always tell me your way instead."

I hadn't ever thought of such a thing.

It surprised me.

My own mind surprised me.

All of that was in my head. On the outside, I nodded. I nodded very quickly, masking the horrible outburst of rebellion my mind had just tried to push onto me.

"Yeah, sure, she can have one once they're done." I smiled nervously.

Speaking of done, they probably were.

I pulled the tray out of the oven and placed it on the counter to cool.

Kariann reached out and grabbed one before running off.

I wanted to make her put it back, but I decided to leave her in peace. It would probably make my mom happier that way.

"Karlie, why would you let Kariann eat hot dough? It's unhealthy!"

Forget it.

I'm not even going to try anymore.



I fiddled with a piece of paper at my desk. I was early again. This time, I was even earlier than Taylor.

I was waiting anxiously for her arrival.

I had cookies in my bag that almost had the words "I'm sorry" written all over them.

But she probably wasn't going to accept my apology anyway.

Why would she? I behaved like a total douche.

Should I even bother with the cookies? Maybe I should just leave her alone, being alone worked out pretty well for me so far.

I mean, I had Calvin, but still.



People started appearing, dotted around the classroom in their desks. No curly blond hair among the various heads I saw.



The clock showed that the time was three minutes to eight.

I didn't even dream she could come late.

Mrs. Renfield, the Biology teacher, had arrived early.

She started to tell us to take out our notebooks when Taylor burst through the doors, breathing heavily.

"I....uh, present?" If there was a facial expression for "Is this good enough?", then that was what Taylor was sporting.

Several suppressed laughs came from various directions.

Renfield was not amused. "Miss Swift, I trust that you know I'll have to mark you as late." She notified Taylor.

"Wait, no, I...I have a note here somewhere..." She searched through her pockets and her school bag until she found a crumpled piece of paper.

"My bus never came, so my mother had to drive me and there was traffic and--" "Yes, alright, just get to your seat so we can start the lesson." Mrs. Renfield interrupted her without bothering to check the note.

Taylor smiled in relief before she walked towards her desk. Her face fell slightly and she stopped for a fraction of a second when she saw me.

Her outside reaction was small, but on the inside, she was probably angry as hell.

I wouldn't have blamed her.



Lunch period. I don't know whether she had been avoiding me or if I had been unintentionally avoiding her.

Now she was walking towards the full table she spent lunch at every day. I had one chance.

"Taylor!" I called. I called just a little too loudly.

I blew my chance.

She turned to the source of the noise. Her face didn't fall when she saw me. Perhaps she was better at acting than I thought.

She said something to the people accompanying her before she made her way towards me with a big smile.

"I was wondering if....if you'd want to eat with me?" I half-asked.

No bitter remark. No snarky refusal.

Just a big "Sure!".

She sat down next to me with her food. We didn't talk at all while we ate even though I was sure we both knew the elephant in the room that needed to be addressed.

I swallowed the last bites of my lunch, wondering how to form the words buzzing around my brain into a coherent sentence.

"So...because of last Saturday..." I started. "Oh, that! It's completely fine, you probably had to leave for something important." My jaw nearly dropped in awe. There was no trace of dishonesty in her voice. It was like she hadn't even held a grudge since the other night.

"No, that's the thing, it wasn't important at all! It was some celebratory dinner for my sisters getting a part in some play and..." I rambled. I felt like I had done something absolutely terrible. I felt I needed some sort of disapproval from her. Anything.

"I even baked you cookies!" I exclaimed. Taylor burst out laughing. I could only laugh along to her contagious laugh, and all of a sudden the idea of cookies made something better.

"You're...you're kidding, right?" She asked, in between deep breaths.

In reply, I pulled a box out from my bag. There were definitely cookies inside.

She tried one.

I almost held my breath.

"Wow, Karlie." She said. "With cookies like these, I don't think you'll ever get a boyfriend."

My face...well, it didn't fall, it just probably looked extremely confused. I felt extremely confused as to how she could say something like that.

"But why?" I asked, the tone of my voice reflecting the confusion as well.

"Because I'll marry you, what d'you think?"




The hallways weren't too crowded, save for a few people hanging up posters.

Taylor stopped for a second to see what the posters were saying. She smiled at once.

It was only early-ish September, but there were already posters for the Halloween party.

From Taylor's demeanour, I could tell that she most definitely wanted to go.

But apparently, her going alone was out of the question.

"Karlie, we have to go to this." She shook me.

It was funny, seeing as I was just about to say that there was no way I would be going to that thing.

"I, uh, I'll have to pass, sorry." I smiled apologetically.

"Are you sure?" She asked. I nodded. "C'mon, Karlie, it'll be fun!"

Her eyes twinkled at the prospect of going to this thing.

Well, whoops, I seem to have gone and drowned.

She sort of was right. After all, what was the worst that could happen?



That afternoon, when I was asking my mom whether I could go to the Halloween party, I was explicitly reminded of the worst thing that could happen.

"What if someone sneaks in alcohol, Karlie?! Someone is bound to bring something illegal!"

"Mom, teachers are gonna be there. I don't think anyone's about to go taking shots in front of Mrs MacAulay."

"Well, how are you planning on getting home? Have you even considered the possibility that your father and I don't have time for this egocentric plan?"

Guilt edged into my mind. I hadn't actually considered that.

"I....I was sort of hoping that one of you could..." "Could what? Escort you there and back? We're not your chauffeurs, Karlie!"

I tried to remember the bus schedule I used to spend my mornings staring at while waiting for the bus.

In a small voice, I started. "Well, I guess....I guess I could always catch a bus." I smiled weakly.

"Alright, good. You'll have to be back by nine, though." She warned.

I wasn't prepared to argue about curfews.

It wasn't that early of a curfew so, why not?

"Perfect, mom."

"Good."