Love will remember - A Phan Lovestory

4

Word count: 791 words

SONG RECOMMENDATION

Twenty One Pilots - Lane Boy

*Phil P.O.V*

My head was pounding. I tried to wake myself up, but failed. I suddenly heared voices coming from outside of the door. They were loud and unclear. I didn't even bother to look after my hand, knewing i would probably faint again. I was never happy with the way i handle things. But this was just stupidity. Smashing my fist against glass wouldn't get Dan back. Neither would suicide. I had thought of suicide a lot lately. Not exactly a suprise, considering what i've been through lately.

I hadn't uploaded a video in two months. Well what was i going to say? "Oh hi guys! Dan is in a coma and im thinking of killing myself!" Everyone is asking where Dan is, but i didn't know how i should tell them without breaking into tears myself. I had no more time to think, as people strormed into the room. A short man with brown hair and green eyes helped me up. I was on my feet now, but felt quite awkward standing there in a space t-shirt and boxers. They didn't say much but 'Are you ok?' and 'It's going to be alright'. I got help putting on some gray sweat pants, shoes, and a jacket, and was on my way out the door. I felt a bit dizzy, but nothing too challenging. I looked over at my hand. It was swollen and bloody. They had taken out most of the pieces of glass, and it didn't look as bad as before, but it needed a lot of stiches. It took a few minutes and we were at the hospital. I wasn't paying much attention, but i got rushed to a doctor. He cleared up the cuts, and put some stitches here and there, and gave me a shitload of painkillers, and i was good to go.

I figured it wasn't the brightest idea to take public transport with my hand, so i called a taxi. Home wasn't that far from here anyway. The taxi came around and i jumped in. The radio was playing this song i didn't know, pretty loud. I looked over at my phone. I was shocked to see how late it was. It was over 11 pm. Last time i was out this late was the day Dan was hospitalized. I had made progress. I didn't cry myself to death everytime i thought of him. But it was the same amount of pain every time.

I rolled down the window, trying to forget. The cold wind hit my face. It was dark and freezing outside by now. It was late december, soon christmas. I was almost scared to look at my calender. Mostly because i was missing out on life. It's suprisingly scary how you watch your life fade away. I was awake. I was alive. But i wasn't living. I hadn't lived since the incident. But it didn't matter. He was coming back, and if I could do anything i would do it. 'Sir? Are you okay?' The taxi driver looked at me with confusion in his eyes. He had stopped driving, and we were in front of my house. 'Yeah, sorry!' I paid him, gathered my things and left. I slammed the door and met the cold air. It didn't bother me much, as i continued walking towards my flat.

I unlocked the door and threw off my jacket and my shoes. A loud yawn escaped my mouth. It was time to go to bed. I hadn't slept in three days, and after all that i've been through today, i thought i needed some sleep. I actually had left some energy to walk into my kitchen and drink a glass of water, followed by an intense brushing of my teeth. Whilst i was rinsing my mouth, i smelled a metally kind of smell. Blood. I turned around to see the same black shirt i had seen earlier that day. Suddenly i remembered what had happened. I had been lying in Dan's bed with his favorite shirt against my chest, when my nose started bleeding. I had pushed my nose into my pillow too hard whilst crying listening to My Chemical Romance - Famous last words. You could probably imagine what pain i was in. I must've thrown it to wash without actually washing it. A million thoughts rushed through my head at once. All of them were memories of Dan. And a few about space and existence as usual. I decided to wash the blood away and crawl to bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, i fell asleep, knowing Dan would haunt me in my sleep. But it was okay. It's okay now.