Love will remember - A Phan Lovestory

3

Word count: 641 words

SONG RECOMMENDATION

50 Seconds of Mars ~
The Kill (Bury Me)

*Phil P.O.V*

A Saturday night somewhere in December, i found myself lying on the cold hard floor in my living room, crying with a picture of Dan in my right hand. It didn't seem too 'living' anymore. The stereo was playing The Kill on full blast. I suddenly remembered what i said to myself when i left the hospital. I needed to stay strong, if not for me, for Dan. Where did i go wrong? I tried every day to stay strong but usually ended the day wanting to drag a blade across my wrist. It wasn't worth living without Dan. But i knew some day he would come back. And i had to be there when it happened. I just had to make myself believe it. The song was about to end. So was this way of living. I was sick and tired of feeling sorry for myself.

I became aware of my situation, as I threw the picture of Dan into the wall in anger, and watched it break into a million pieces, just like my heart. I slammed my hand into the broken glass lying on the floor. I lifted my hand slightly in shock, in realization of what i had just done. Tiny flakes of the glass that had earlier been Dan's picture frame, was stuck to my skin. I screamed as i felt a rushing pain to my hand. The hand that had held Dan's hand the night he was droven to the hospital, was now full of sparkly glass dust. The pain was unbearable. There were blood everywhere. It was slowly dripping down my wrist and so on. I was holding my hand up. I was now aware of the situation i had gotten myself into, and got up and ran to the bathroom. I got a short glance of my appearance as i ran past the mirror. I hadn't slept in days, and it was easily seen. I had dark, baggy, and puffy under bags. My skin was paler than it's usual. Better described as white. 

I focused back on my hand as i opened the bathroom door. The bandages was laying on the floor next to a bloody shirt. I literally did not remember the past week, and in the state i was in, i could have might as well done that. But no matter what, i could not deny the fact that this shirt, was not one of mine shirts. It was pitch black and a few sizes larger than me. It was Dan's favorite shirt. I smelled his cologne, and a metal kind of smell, and felt my eyes filling with salty tears, soon to fall down my pale cheeks. 

My lips started shaking. I bit them in a attempt to stop the constant shivering. I could not get him out of my head. The pain in my hand was now nothing compared to the feeling inside of my heart. I completely forgot about my hand, and shut my eyes. I was losing a lot of blood. I had to stop the bleeding before i blacked out.

 Little did i know that i had been staring at the piece of cloth that once had belonged and worn of the person i loved, who was at the moment in a coma for god knows how long, for about ten minutes. I ripped the bigger pieces of glass out of my hand, and saw a hole in my hand. I grabbed my phone from my pocket with my left hand that wasn't injured, and called an ambulance. There was no way in hell the fucking hole in my hand could be fixed my some bandages. The room started spinning. I lost balance and fell to the floor. My vision got blurry, and everything went black.