How to Get a Boyfriend (boyxboy)

Chapter Two

I finished the DT exam in record time, a feat made all the more memorable due to me sitting in a trance for the first ten minutes, thinking about a cute boy with glasses who had just kissed me on the cheek.

Exiting the exam room, all I could think of was how his lips had felt on my cheek, the warmth of his breath on my skin.  I put a hand to the spot on my cheekbone where his lips had touched.  Had I imagined it?

No.  No, it was real.  Not even my rampant imagination could have dreamt up so wonderful an experience.  I pondered the implications of that kiss.

Was it just a ‘friend kiss’?  Were we close enough that one could kiss the other on the cheek, with no awkwardness?  Somehow, I doubted that.  My gaydar wasn’t very accurate yet, but it had felt like John had been working up to that kiss.

Was it that he was confused about his sexuality, and thought this the perfect opportunity to test the waters by kissing a member of the same sex?  Possibly, and by the way he dashed off afterwards, he was worried about my reaction to the kiss, in case it was negative.

Or was it because he secretly fancied me too, and this was his way of getting close to me, or hinting it too me?  I both hoped for and feared this reason, because it meant that I might finally be able to stop feeling lonely, but what if it didn’t work?  We were quite different people.  We clicked, but our habits and activities were complete polar opposites.  Opposites attract but not always.  I didn’t want to lose the closest guy friend I had because we tried to go out and it failed.

While I waged war inside my head, my body was drifting towards the school library.  I entered through the double doors and wandered around the tables, until I came across John himself, along with a couple of other guys in my year.  By the looks of the folders and books spread over the table, and the quiet conversation that was going on in the hush of the library, they were revising economics for tomorrow’s exam.  I sat down next to John, with a muted “Hi” to everyone and pulled out a book from the rotating stand on the table.  For a while we sat in companionable silence, occasionally broken by quick quizzes on various economic subjects.  Then the other two occupants of the table temporarily left for various reasons, leaving me alone with John for the first time since he kissed me.  My instincts were screaming at me to say something and be quiet at the same time, but my awkwardness in social situations deterred me from speaking aloud.  I remained silent until everyone returned.  Shortly after, the final bell rang, signalling end of school and we packed up.  I walked with John to the front entrance where the school buses were waiting.  I murmured a “Bye” in his direction, not really noticing if there was a reply, before darting onto a bus and claiming a seat near the back.  I watched John’s backpack fade into the distance as he walked up to the train station.

On the way back, I barely spoke to any of my friends onboard, preferring to stay wrapped up in my own head.  I was still trying to figure out what John had been trying to tell me with that kiss, and there was little room left for the general natter of my school friends.

At home, I tried to revise for my Philosophy exam the next day, but I just couldn’t focus.  Instead I lay prone on my bed, deep in thought.  Even when my dad returned from work, I didn’t stir until he came and physically roused me from by daydreams.

Dinner was a quiet affair that night.  My step-sister was going to a friend’s wedding next week, while I, my dad and stem-mum were driving to Brittany for a week.  All the plans were already sorted, so all that was left were my step-mum’s boisterous exclamations about all the lovely things we were going to do in France, and my step-sister’s complaints about not being able to go.  I wasn’t able to stand the banalities of life for very long, so I headed up to my room.