Once a Dog Always a Dog!

Chapter 18

Cheyenne and her sister arrived in Orlando at ten thirty that night and they came straight to the hospital. Cheyenne hugged me and she seemed as if she didn't want to let me go. "Where is he?" Cheyenne asked with tears in her eyes. "Hey, Kha'Darious?" her sister said and gave me a hug. I took the two of them in the room and Cheyenne burst into heavy weeping and tears. "Baby, wake up, baby," Cheyenne said to Derrick as she held his hand and then kissed him on the cheek and on his forehead as her sister consoled her. I gave Cheyenne as much time with Derrick as she needed and she stayed with him for about an hour before she came back to me and buried her head into my chest and soaked it with tears. "Kha'Darious, he didn't suffer any, did he?" "No. I asked the doctor the same thing and they said that it doesn't look like he banged his head or anything like that so from what they could tell is that he may have panicked for a minute or so before passing out but they assured me that he wouldn't have been in any pain."   

Cheyenne sighed and she said that she hated to even think about Derrick being under the water and panicking. "Where was the lifeguard? Didn't anybody see what was going on?" Cheyenne spoke through her tears. "Baby, believe me, they tried. Everyone did all they could do. The lifeguard, he was here all day at the hospital and I had to persuade him to go home. He was so distraught and upset with himself." "So what are we gonna do? Kha'Darious, we can't leave him like that if he's not breathing on his own." That was when tears began rolling down my eyes because I knew that we had to pull the plug on Derrick so that he could go and be with the Lord. There was no way that we could leave him in a vegetated state like that. Cheyenne and I were ready to call the doctor but we first wanted a few more minutes together with our son. Cheyenne went on one side of the bed and I was on the other side and we both held one of Derrick's hands. "Derrick, we love you so much. Mommy and Daddy love you more than you could ever know," I said. "You're gonna be in heaven, baby. You're gonna be in heaven with Jesus. God just needed a point guard, baby. You're gonna be an MVP in heaven, don't worry." I then told Cheyenne that I need a few moments alone with him. 

And Cheyenne nodded her head and she left the room so I could be with Derrick. I cried uncontrollably as I hugged Derrick's body and then I gripped his hand and I began talking to him. "D, you know what I never got a chance to tell you? Daddy never got a chance to tell you that I was sorry. I'm sorry for disrespecting your mother the way I did. I'm sorry for being a grown ass man and living like I was a insecure teenager. I didn't want you to see that DMZ episode because I didn't want you to see your daddy in a bad light. But the truth of the matter is that you just taught me what a real man is. A real man isn't a coward. A real man accepts responsibilities and a real man hon- ors the decisions that he's made. A real man is proud to be a family man. A real man doesn't get his self esteem from sexing a bunch of women. Derrick, a real man protects his family to no end. And I am so sorry, Derrick," I said through snot running down my nose and into my mouth. "If I had been a real man and lived like a real man, you wouldn't be in this position right now. I am so sorry. And I can promise you that you have my word that from this point forward I will start finally living like a real man." I kissed Derrick on the cheek and then I walked back over to the door and asked Cheyenne to come back in. 

Cheyenne could tell that I was crying and she hugged me and rubbed on my back as we embraced each other. Me and my wife both wept uncontrollably. It was without a doubt the worst thing I had ever experienced in my life. But I went and found the doctor and I relayed our wishes to him of what we wanted to do with Derrick. The doctor had us sign all kinds of paperwork and he asked us if we wanted a priest or any other type of religious professional present, but we declined that. And we also declined speaking to a social worker and all of the other procedural things that they had in place for situations such as this. "We're at peace. And we're sure about this decision," I explained as I held my wife's hand. And within five minutes the plug had been pulled on Derrick and the little bit of life that was left inside of him slipped away and went off to be with the Lord.