Once a Dog Always a Dog!

Chapter 13

It was now the middle of May. Four months had passed since I had been involved in the fatal car crash. As time progressed I was getting more hopeful that a plea deal was gonna be worked out with the district attorney and the families involved in the accident. The guy who I had critically injured in the accident had finally been released from the hospital. He would have to go through extensive rehab, but he was going to make a full recovery. As time passed I continued on the straight and narrow. In fact for the past two weeks Cheyenne and I had started going to marriage counseling once a week for one hour per session. The marriage counseling helped, but in some sense it was a huge waste of money simply because the marriage counselor was discussing things with us that we already knew. We had been married for more than a decade and during that time we had seen it all, done it all, and experienced it all, so although he tried his best and I was committed to continuing on with it, I just wasn't certain how helpful it would be for us in the end. "So, Kha'Darious, in your mind, tell me what you think the biggest problem is in your relationship ?" the marriage counselor had asked me during our first session. I contemplated his question before proceeding to answer.

"Listen, I know I have issues and a lot that I could do better, but if you want me to get at the root of things I would definitely say that it's the lack of sex." When I said that, Cheyenne began squirming in her chair. The marriage counselor immediately told her that she had to watch her body language so that she wouldn't encourage a hostile environment, which wouldn't facilitate openness and honesty. Cheyenne apologized and I continued on. "Like, in all due respect, we don't even need to be here. All me and Cheyenne need to do is have more sex. When we first got married we had sex at least once a day but more like twice a day and I got breakfast in bed and all of that. But fast forward and I'm lucky if we have sex once or twice a week! And breakfast in bed? I can't remember the last time I had that. It's like Cheyenne will make breakfast for our son and you would think that she would make breakfast for me too at the same time, but that rarely happens. So with the lack of sex, and the lack of attention and affection that I get, intimacy gets tossed right out the window. So what I do is I substitute the intimacy that I used to get. I substitute it with my work and I stay at my computer trying my hardest to bang out bestselling books and then I crave and soak up the praise I get from my fans that tell me how much they love my work." Cheyenne couldn't take it anymore and so she raised her hand and asked if she could interject something. 

The marriage counselor nodded his head and Cheyenne spoke up. "Yeah, I just wanna say that Kha'Darious always brings up the same thing. But I feel like this is less about sex and more about his low self-esteem. And at the core of it, Kha'Darious is just a very, very, very insecure person and he needs so many things just to validate who he is. To me that's more of the problem." I kept my mouth shut because there was no sense in arguing. And I made a point that throughout the marriage counseling that I would not argue with Cheyenne, and that I would try my hardest to be cooperative. But no matter what she or the marriage counselor said, the root problem that we had is the same problem that most marriages have, at that was the lack of sex. It was mind boggling to me because it was so simple to solve. All Cheyenne had to do was fuck me two to three times a day and things would be good. If she didn't, then we would be fooling ourselves if we ever thought that we could or would dig out of the marriage mess that we were in. That was what I believed, and I believed it with all sincerity. I truly loved Cheyenne but I knew what I needed and sex was a really big need of mine; and if we were going to make this work then we had to increase the frequency of sex. Just like if I consistently don't eat food two or three times a day, that's gonna be a problem for me and it will manifest itself somehow. In the same sense sex to a marriage was like food to the human body. 

So anyway, marriage counseling was cool, but what was scaring me was that I was starting to get comfortable again. I had moved out of my mother's crib and got an apartment in a high-rise condo building on Queens Boulevard, in the Forest Hills section of Queens. I was only renting it because with the court case looming over my head, it didn't make sense for me to go out and buy another asset that could possibly be taken away from me. And if me and Cheyenne ended up in divorce then that would be just one more thing that we would have to divvy up among us. I didn't really have the apartment hooked up the way I wanted to hook it up. In fact, after living there for one month the apartment was pretty bare bones. But even though I didn't have the apartment hooked up the way I wanted it, that didn't stop me from inviting Meagan over to my place so I could chill with her. Meagan lived in a very upscale town in New Jersey called Saddle River, so I was sure that she was used to nothing but the best. My apartment definitely wasn't the best but I didn't care if I wasn't able to impress her, I was just feeling mad lonely and I wanted her company more than anything. "Hey, Mr. Kha'Darious," Meagan said as I opened my door for her and she sashayed her way into my apartment with some open-toe high heel shoes that she was wearing. "I bought you something," she said as she handed me two different packages.