Confessions of a Bitter Rose

Letter 4 - Oh Brother

Dear You,

Why am I still hiding your identity when I clearly stated that I was already writing to you, Connor?

I don't know, but what I did know was that I couldn't go on this way anymore, like a lovesick puppy.

I had to push away all my feelings for you, squash them into the very back of my mind, and hope that they would disintegrate, eventually.

I swear that I tried to. But I didn't have much luck in doing so.

At Chinese School, when I saw you laughing and joking with other girls in your grade, I always wanted to open my mouth and join in, but then remembered my promise to myself.

I had to get over you, no matter how painful it was for me.

I ignored you in Chinese School, and you ignored me back. All this time I had known you, I barely exchanged more than ten words with you in person.

Online, I tried to distance myself by going invisible more often and trying to chat with you less.

Those feelings still lingered of course, but by keeping my mind busy with school and other things, I was definitely a lot more happy with myself.

But of course your twin just had to make things even more complicated.

My feelings surfaced once again. This time for a different person as well.

Your twin brother, Austin Lin.

It didn't help that he was also your identical twin. 

Besides a small height difference (you were around an inch taller) and slightly different eye structure (Call me a stalker, but your eyes were the slightest bit narrower), both of you were virtually the same person.

On the outside of course.

Austin was nothing like you on the inside.

You were popular, well-liked by everyone, especially among the girls, and the definition of a social butterfly.

Austin was more reserved, and didn't have many friends that were girls. I once heard you say that "He was so awkward talking to girls, and that he almost never talked to girls."

Wait, but was it just a hallucination when Austin talked to me in volleyball class the other day? When he asked me specifically what my audition number for a band audition he had also participated in was? And was he not the one who had constantly pestered me that entire hour doing so? Was I just imagining that he made a joke to me about how you made a mistake in class, and everyone laughed at you?

Maybe I was going a bit insane at this point. 

Because I think I was developing feelings for your brother too. 

How could I like two guys at once? Not to mention  that they were identical twins... I felt horrible. Guilt was eating me up on the inside.

Oh Brother.

The reserved, quieter brother and the lively, loud brother. 

I facepalmed myself for being such an idiot.

I was a fool.

An absolute fool.

A fool for both of you.

Saddened,

Rose

~~~ Sigh... What will Rose do now? Well, I know the answer of course, since well.. Ya know. But do you guys know? 

If you liked this chapter, feel free to vote and comment :3 I appreciate any support i get <3

If you guys didn't read the message that I'm discontinuing Broken... You should go read it... It's important.

Maybe I'll try updating more frequently. :) ~~~