Confessions of a Bitter Rose

Letter 5 - Jealousy

Dear You (Or Connor. Ugh, I forgot again.),

From then on, I guess that you and Austin were all that I had on my mind.

Weeks passed by, and we barely exchanged any words in Chinese school.

Slowly, my feelings for Austin began to fade away because of a lack in communication, but I never stopped liking you, Connor.

We playfully bantered on Gmail, and I felt like we could still be considered good friends.

But when you told me you had asked out a girl in your school named Hannah for the second time, I felt my hopes plummet.

You had been ranting about Hannah for months now, and how she broke up with you earlier. But I knew you still had deep feelings for her, even going as far as saying that you loved her.

Now, you guys were back together, and on Valentines Day too.

You sent me a picture of you two, and told me how she was so cute and funny.

Maybe it was just jealousy, but she wasn't any prettier than me, and I slammed my laptop screen shut when I saw that you were hugging her with a huge smile on your face.

I felt more lonely then ever, as I felt the teardrops threatening to roll down my cheeks blur my vision.

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Connor, I think it's time to let you know that I would always log onto your email and check your chats with your friends.

I swear that I wasn't trying to be a stalker, but you had given me your email password, so why not use it?

I know you didn't mind because I actually told you sometimes when I went on your email, but you didn't know how often I would go on. Which was pretty much every day.

You had told me how a girl name Katie in my grade (but your school) had a crush on you for a long time, and that you didn't like her back.

But when I read over your chats with her, I wondered about the validity of that statement. She claimed that she had gotten over you, and maybe she did. But on the inside, I had a feeling that she still retained some of those butterfly-like feelings for you.

You were constantly giving her relationship advice on her so-called "crush" on another guy, Gabe. Teasing her to ask him out. Telling her that if she didn't, you would tell Gabe that she loved him.

I only grimly sighed as I scrolled through countless numbers of these chats. Sometimes I would even go on when I knew you were on too. I saw you respond to many of your friends' chats instantly. And I could see that you always clicked on my chat box last to respond to.

At that point, I found out that I was your last choice. Maybe you only responded to me out of politeness. Often, you wouldn't at all, and you would just say "Sorry, I have to go to sleep now."

These moments were ones where I often asked myself ,"Why do I always fall for the ones that don't care about me at all."

Do you know the answer?

Wiping the tears away,

Rose

~~~~~~ Writing this made me sad.... I had to eat a bunch of food to finish writing this chapter :3

Meow, thanks for reading guys! Vote and comment if you liked it :))

More frequent updates will be happening for this book (maybe) since Broken is being discontinued.

I'm also uploading a new book soon! 

Hope you enjoyed <3

Linda~~~~.