Lauren
"You're a fucking idiot," Dinah yells at me as we sit in the courtyard of my school. We had once again slipped into a conversation about Camila and I's breakup. I wasn't sure how we stumbled upon this topic, but we were here now and Dinah was yelling at me. Obviously she didn't approve of the breakup.
"I had to!" I defend. I look away from the Polynesian girl.
"You never have to do anything you don't want to, you always have a choice," she argued.
"You know I didn't! My career was on the line. I can't risk my career for some girl." I spat back at Dinah enraged. She knew that I was backed into a corner when it came to my career vs. Camila.
"The thing is that she isn't just a girl, she's Camila. You loved her, you still love her. Come on Lauren, can't you let love win this one time? You'll always have art and drawing, but you won't always have Camila, Lauren."
I pause and think about what Dinah just said. She's right. I won't always have Camila to turn to when I need her. Maybe it was a bad idea to break up with her, but there isn't much I can do about it now. What's done has been done. It's too late i'll never get Camila back. A sob escapes my mouth as I slump against the bench.
"I'm sorry, I've just been a mess lately. The break-up has really been taking it's toll on me. I'm never this emotional." The split between Camila and I had really caused me to be a lot more emotional than I've ever been. Never have I ever cried over a girl, but I guess that's what happens when you lose your first love.
"Don't apologize Laur, I know I kind of pushed you over the edge with that comment. Sometimes the truth stings," she wrapped her arms around me. "I know you love Camila, and I have to make sure that you aren't denying that. I want my ship back together."
-
The loud atmosphere of the cafeteria distracts me from the book i'm reading. I turn the crisp page and dive right into the next chapter. I had been reading the 'Divergent' series lately, and I absolutely love it. I guess I really love the main character, Tris Prior. She's just so confident and badass. It's something I aspire to be, but it's just not me. I'm not the outgoing kind of girl, I like keeping to myself. I had two great friends who were always by my side, I didn't open up to anyone but them.
The bell rings and I move to place my books in my backpack. I adjust the straps on my shoulder and begin walking to art class. I dodge teenagers as I fly through the hallway. Art is my favorite subject, and I don't want to be late. Once my hand is on the doorknob, I feel a presense behind me. The smell of the girl's perfume is strong, yet intoxicating at the same time. My eyes slightly roll at the delicious smell. I control myself and cough awkwardly holding the door open for the girl. She walks in front of me and I enter behind her.
"Thanks," she says in a low voice, and in that moment I realize the girl is Camila.I'm surprised I didn't know it was her earlier. Had we grown so far apart that I couldn't distinguish her from other girls?
"Uh no problem," I reply as she looks back at me and gives me a weak smile. My heart melts when I see the sadness in her eyes.
I was the reason for that sadness.
We part ways and I tread to my new seat. I cringe as the word 'new' pops up in my head. I don't want a new seat, I didn't want anything new. I wanted everything to go back to the way it used to be. I want to go back to the old days. I slump in my seat as the teacher informs us that we will continue to work on the projects that we started last class. I sigh lowly and walk over to the rack where I left my painting the last class. A line begins forming and I roll my eyes. Creativity is flowing through my mind and I can't use it. In a moment of impulse I shove past the person in front of me and grab my artwork.
"Hey, wait your turn," A boy with a Justin Bieber haircut comments.
"I'll wait my turn once you get out of 2008 with that haircut," I throw back at him. My statement earns a few chuckles from the surrounding students and I smirk.
I stare at the painting in front of me. It dried nicely, and I really like how it came out. I used acrylic for the first time and it looked great. I smiled at the work I had done. Loud laughter interrupted my moment and I looked over and saw Camila laughing with a brunette girl wearing a beanie. I frowned at the exchange jealousy ripening in my chest. I wanted to be the one making Camila laugh, I wanted to be the one who got to witness her happiness.
-
I lay back on my bed with my phone held up to my ear. I'm currently clad in pajama shorts and a long tee as I talk with Dinah over the phone.
"The piece that I'm putting in my aunt's gallery looks amazing. I'm so excited," I gush as I think about the acrylic painting I completed in art class. I showed it to my aunt, and she said she loved it. My aunt owns this popular art gallery downtown, and she offered to display my paintings in one of her shows. She thinks I have a lot of potential. She is one of the only people who support my dream of becoming an artist other than my parents. Everyone else thinks it's 'unrealistic', but I beg to differ. I was taught that I could do anything I put my mind to, and my mind is on art. I will make something of myself. I know it.
"That's great, but I still hate her."
"This isn't about the Camila thing right? I already told you-"
"I just don't think you should let your aunt dictate your love life for you," I rolled my eyes.
"Dinah I don't want to have this conversation. Just change the subject before I hang up."
"Okay, okay. One more question Lauren, just one more and i'll change the subject."
"What?" I asked staring at the ceiling.
"Was it worth it? Was losing Camila worth it?"
"No," my voice cracks and I click the hang up button.
-
a/n
Hey I'm back! I'm so so sorry that I haven't updated in ages. I feel super bad, but I've been so busy with school lately it's crazy. The picture above is Lauren's acrylic painting. Oh and before I forget, all credit to the person who is responsible for creating the painting. it's not mine, and I don't own it. I just had to get that out of the way. I really hope this chapter was good enough and sort of makes up for the amount of time that I didn't update. I feel like this is longer than the other chapter, so I feel like that's good... Uh thanks for reading. Don't be shy or afraid to share your opinion. Feedback is always welcome!
Thanks for reading (:
-Desiree // pixelatedoblivion on tumblr
