4 solid walls.
1 concrete floor.
1 ground level ceiling.
1 shabby bed.
No view providing windows
No escapable doors.
1 Man-The state of that man, uncertain.
It had been two weeks since Ward was captured, a week since he has seen the light of day, or anyone other than Phil Coulson. And in that week Ward has been able to fully reflect on his life. The life that he know not, whether it was soon to come to an end, or not.
Part of him was done, with living and breathing. He had realized his mistakes and saw no hope in trying to fix them. Twice already had he tried to take his life, and many more times has he ran into the wall and ran his wrist over the button of his pants. But part of him, was telling him to keep living and too keep breathing, for her.
He had always lived in a little sad world, there has always been someone to give him orders and to punish him when they weren't followed. There had always been someone to take it out in him, when the world failed to please them. And because of those people, he had formed a rock hard shell. The shell protected him from all there hate and anger, but kept all of his in. Of course that was before her.
Right from the start the first moment he saw her, when he kidnapped her from her van, he knew there was something about her. The way she always was making sarcastic jokes, but at the same time truly cared about others. The brunette worked her way into SHEILD, joining the team. Slowly piece by piece she, helped soften his shell and add some color to his world.
Things for once in his life were good, that was until Garret had contacted him, telling him that it was time. Hydra was planning to come out of the shadows and into the light and Ward was to follow through with his original orders.
The truth was, Ward had forgotten about them, he forgot that his life was a lie, and that Skye and the Rest of the team did not truly know Agent Grant Ward at all. In fact Grant Ward did not know himself either. Ward wanted to forget Garret's orders and move on with the team. When he tried Garret made it very clear that that was not an option.
Ward and vividly remember the day when he watched Skye from the outside of her pod, with two bullet wounds in her stomach. Unsure if she would ever speak again or if he would ever see her big brown eyes or hear that sweet laugh. So Ward went in with his orders from Garret's orders, to protect her. He tries so hard to stop himself from falling for Skye but it was impossible. She has this amazing effect in everyone she meets and leaves and everlasting impression.
He was drawn in how a girl, from such a devastating past could still be so cheerful. Of course she had her moments. Ward finally thought he was making progress for once in his life and had good relationships with his team, of course he has to go and ruin it. Ward could no longer look at himself in the mirror without being filled with hate, and now Skye would not be able to think about him without feeling a burning hate.
After this past two weeks of thinking Ward had basically learned that forgiveness was not an option, nor did he deserve it. He did unthinkable things to the team, he has been worrying non-stop about what happened to Fitzsimmons and how Skye is doing but Coulson has refused to answer. Coulson has just brought him food and water and the occasional bandages for the wounds that he has accumulated while in the cell.
Ward has grown to hate himself and everything he has done. He hates that he finally told Skye how he felt only days before he betrayed her. Sometimes he wishes that he could wake up and that is was all just a horrible nightmare, but it's not it's reality and his real life.
This is why he is uncertain, whether to live another day or not. He wants to see her one more time before he makes his decision but as the time goes on he loses hope of that ever happening.
