What If//h.s

Daddy Issues

"I don't have issues." I grumbled as Key flicked the lighter.

"You definitely do Baby Girl." Key joked lightly, smiling as my cigarette caught fire. Putting it to my lips, I inhaled deeply. "Slow your roll." She murmured past her cigarette. "And you definitely do. Your whole dad problem, your boy problem, your life and health issues." I sighed, smoke ghosting past my lips.

"I'm fixing the boy thing, the dad thing.." I shook my head. "And what do you mean health and life issues?" I demanded. Key laughed a little.

"Drinking, smoking, skipping class." I rolled my eyes.

"I'll get back in the groove." I grumbled. Key laughed again.

"Sure."

"It's not even that bad. One class here and there won't matter and you guys drink and smoke all the time and you're all fine and dandy." Key smirked and blew smoke up into the air slowly.

"You gotta understand that you're a bit vanilla Wilder. You haven't even slept with a guy yet so doing all these semi-crazy things is new." I shook my head.

"Semi-crazy? Why is it crazy when I do it?"

"Work with me Wilder, you know what I mean. It's out of character for you." I shook my head slowly.

"Not really.. Maybe I was always headed down this path." We were quiet.

"That's some deep shit Emma." I smiled a little and she laughed, watching me take a drag on my cigarette.

--

"So you wanted to talk?" Zayn asked nervously. I nodded almost grimly. I had been holding out hope that he didn't still have feelings for me but I could just see the glimmer or a spark of something behind his eyes every time he looked at me. I didn't want it to come to this. I didn't want to tell him to get over me and then rub in the fact that I had somehow gotten infatuated with Harry. I just wanted him to understand that we were over the first time I said it. There was no hope left.

"Yeah I wanted.. I wanted to talk to you about us." I said slowly trying to gauge his reaction.

"Us?" He questioned trying to sound nonchalant. I nodded my head slowly.

"I'm going to talk and I don't want you to say anything until I'm finished and then.. Then you can tell me what you feel okay?" Zayn nodded slowly. I breathed out slowly, working up the nerve to crush his heart, if it was still mine to crush. "I've heard that, and I'm not pointing any fingers at our friends but we all know the same people so.." I paused. "I heard that you still like me, a lot and I don't know if it's true but I want to clear the air and say.. I don think I could ever be with you again."

"Oh." Zayn said in a defeated tone.

"You're an amazing guy Zayn and you're.. Extremely attractive. I mean, overly so.." He blushed as I spoke. "And you shouldn't be hung up on me. We're in college, this is a new chance for you, a new opportunity." I stopped. "Our relationship had a lot of right and a lot of wrong. This is your chance to create a relationship that is all right."

"I loved what we had Amelia." Zayn said softly reaching out and touching my hair. I smiled lightly, allowing myself to put my hand on his cheek.

"I loved what we had too Zayn. You were my first serious boyfriend and I'll never forget that but I think, for our sanity, we both need to move on. You're still one of my best friends. You know more about me than most people and I don't just share my life with anyone." Zayn nodded his head slowly. "You're an important person in my life and I don't want to loose you but I can't love you the way you want me too."