Fallen Alone-Andley

Put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger

An/ So I know this isn't exactly what you meant but I liked the video idea and doing this can help me get the story going more...

Ashley's PoV
I wanted to make this easier on myself, so I decided to make a video explaining everything to them. I'll give the tape to Jinxx and by the time the guys see it I'll be long gone.

Setting up the tripod with the video camera on top I stand a few steps away so I can be seen, I have tear tracks on my face from the crying I've been doing all day and I never washed away yet. The song What hurts the most by Rascal Flatts is playing in the back ground, on repeat, I just think it fits kinda, my heart is broken and I want to die, it's been on repeat since I got home. But it's not just the events within the band that's caused this, that just sealed the deal.

Pressing the record button on the remote I take a deep breath as I begin to speak

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Please understand that this isn't easy, but it has to be done so bare with me.

I know you want to know why I've been so, different lately. It's a stupid reason actually, but I guess that's all I'm good for, Stupidity. When Cobolt first came around, it was jealousy, yes i said jealous work it out. But it turned into the feeling of being replaced. I saw the way he fit in with all of you so well and I just, don't fit, he was doing all the things that I used to do.

We used you be so close Andy, but now it's like we're complete strangers. We don't talk at all and if you need to tell me something you'll say it to Jinxx to tell me, and that hurts, you have no idea how bad that kills me on the inside. To know that you hate me so much that you can't stand even being in the same room as me, why? I know I should of been nicer to him but you were wrong too.

CC, we were partners in crime, remember that? Partying all night and spending the next day in a jail cell for something we had done while drunk. Now you barely say 2 words to me in a day.

Jake, you weren't bad because we weren't exactly close but if I had an idea for a song you were always the first I would go to, now you tell me to go bother someone else. You always tried to make sure I was fed, we argued so much when I tried to get out of it and still made sure I ate even if you never knew, but now you don't care whether I live or die.

Jinxx, my favourite. You were the only one who actually took the time to listen. The first person to find out one of my deepest secrets. You were there when I needed a shoulder to cry on, and I thank you for that and apologize for all the trouble.

Just because my actions were wrong doesn't mean yours were right.

None of you ever saw how much your fans hated me, I'm a bassist, so not necessarily needed. I'm a whore, I'll fuck anything that walks. I'm a freak, fat, worthless, ugly, stupid, a faggot. They hated me and they have since the beginning, I just can't take that anymore.

Do whatever you want with my stuff here, I'm not gonna be needing it any longer.

My name is Ashley Abrocket Purdy, I'm 31 years old, I have depression and anxiety, I've self harmed since I was 14, I'm anorexic, I'm gay and...

This is goodbye."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I pressed stop on the remote before collapsing to my knees as I let out all tears that I fought so desperately to hold back throughout the whole video.
Andy wasn't going to be back for another hour but I have nothing else to do but leave.

Once I finally managed to stop the tears I collected my bag and the video camera before making my way to the car to go to Jinxx's house.

Jinxx didn't ask any questions when I handed him the tape, I told him to make sure that all of the guys see it at the same time. I told him that I would see him soon, even though by the time he sees the video he'll be unable to find me. Nobody knows of where I'm going, thankfully they don't really know of the person I'm going to see, Andy knows who they are but him alone, and he'll be to busy making out with his boyfriend to care.

It was only a 2 hour drive to where I was going, so it wasn't long before I arrived at my destination. I haven't been there in about 3 years but I always try meet up on birthdays and Christmas, we always text/call each other so they know a little of what's going on, just not the part where I turn up on their doorstep.

The house looked the same as it had when I last saw it, the clean cut grass and rose beds always tended to never a single leaf out of place, the white walls of the 2 story house glowed orange in the setting sun.

Walking up to the front door with my bag in hand I knock lightly, it's not a few moments later when the door is opened to reveal the only person who has cared for me unconditionally for many years, hasn't changed much in these past few years.

"Hey Light."

Title-Whiskey Lullaby-Brad Paisley
Love that song, no shame!!!

So whose Light? Tell me who you think they are.

-Scarz 💙