Fallen Alone-Andley

Swallowed By Pain, As He Slowly Fell Apart

Ashley's PoV
The next week went by horribly, I spent most of my time in the bunk. Jinxx started off always dragging me out of it but gave up when it always ended in a fight between me and Cobolt or me and Andy. So Jinxx resorted to bring me food in the bunks and making sure I was on time for the shows but not running into anyone there unless on stage.

But as far as the food goes it either doesn't get eaten or if it does it doesn't stay down for long. Jinxx almost caught me a few times but I just made up some excuse like I ate to quickly or I ate something bad.

I know I said to Jinxx that I would come to him if I needed to cut, but I've burden him so much lately I didn't want to be even more of a burden. I cut my thighs so much I have no clear skin to cut again so I've resorted to my wrists as well, no ones gonna see me anyway and during shows I've worn long sleeves so no ones noticed.

It's been probably the worst week of my life, everyone seems to hate me, including all the crew and it's horrible.
I've had at least three fights with everyone except Jinxx, and when you fight our crew they always make sure they win.

They will mess around with my bass or the wires for my mic, they'll help out with the guys with their stuff just not me, they'll make sure I can't do anything without something going wrong. Everyone just laughs or ignores me when something does happen, sometimes I wish Jinxx did the same, so then I don't have to spend all day trying to figure out why he's on my side.

Right now, I sat in my bunk with my knees tucked tightly against my chest just listening, we were on our way back to our homes, my bags were already pack while everyone else were scrambling around right now to do so. I decided to pack mine last night with everyone asleep, I wouldn't run into anyone and I just couldn't sleep.

We were only about an hour from Andys place, also where I lived, and nobody had finished packing, the noise was painful really, everyone shouting at one another raising there voices louder to be heard, it was giving me a headache. I just had to sit and wait it out.

Once we parked outside Andy's house, I left my safe haven of a bunk, I didn't say anything to anyone as I grabbed my duffle bag and backpack and went straight to the bus door and off, Andy took longer on the bus, saying goodbye to everyone.

When we were finally in the house I went straight to my room, locking the door behind me I slid down against it and let the tears flow freely down my face, this was gonna be the last time I'm in this room. I never told the guys why I hit him, and I kept making things worse, they'll kick me out the band and then of course Andy will kick me out the house since I'm no longer apart of the band family.

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I knew Andy would kick me out, he's given me 3 hours to pack all my stuff and be out while he goes away with the cunt, but before he left he warned me that 'if your still here when we come back your gonna wish that you died instead of your parents'.

He knows I feel guilty about the crash, I was only seven when it happen and I was being a whiney little brat which cause my dad to take his eyes of the road for 2 seconds, but that was 2 seconds to long. He just had to bring them up, I had always wished I had died instead of my parents, and I had told Andy that once or twice and he just had to use it against me.

I'm not gonna pack my stuff, only the essentials; clothes, toiletries, blade I kept from Jinxx, food etc.

Once that was all packed I sat the duffle bag at the front door before walking back into my (old) room to finish this mess once and for all, he may only be kicking me out the house for now, but I know it's not gonna end there, so I have to do this.

An//new chapter!!! Yay!! It's shorter than usual I know, sorry.
Title- Shinedown-45
-Scarz 💙