Impossible (Swanqueen)

Chapter 6

Emma was freaking out, and she couldn't sleep. She glanced at her clock to find that it was 3 in the morning.

She groaned and slid out of bed. She padded over to the kitchen to get some coffee going. There was no way she was going to get any sleep, so she might as well do some thinking.

"Alright, Emma. Regina Mills fucking kissed you. You better write down this shit and figure out what to do." Emma muttered, opening her laptop. Since she was a writer, it was always easier for her to get her thoughts out by writing them.

She poured a generous amount of coffee into her large mug and sat down cross legged in her chair.

After taking a few gulps, she set the coffee down and brought her fingers to the keyboard.

She wrote multiple questions that she had to answer for herself:

Do I have feelings for Regina?
Yes.
Would I want to just have something casual with her?
No.
Would I be worried that a relationship with her could never work because of our age differences?
YES.
If she wanted to be something serious and actually try this out, would I want to?
Yes.

After writing her list, she then began a list of questions for Regina.

Do you actually have feelings for me?
Do you want a real relationship?
Does the age difference bother you?
Why me?

She wrote the last questioned and sighed before quickly deleting it. Why me. What could Regina actually like about her? She was nothing.

What if Emma started talking to Regina, and Regina said it had been a mistake? Emma would look so stupid with her whole written report. She didn't think she could handle it if Regina rejected her now.

She printed the list anyways and stuffed it in her backpack.

She downed the rest of her coffee and got dressed. It was 5am. She didn't have anything else to do, so she decided she might as well head to the coffee shop and start her day.

Emma walked through the icy winds, making her way towards the door of the shop. She squinted when she saw a figure standing by the door.

She glanced at her watch. It was 5:30. Didn't the person know that the shop didn't open for another hour?

"Excuse me, Miss, we don't open for an hour - fuck!"

Under normal circumstances, Emma wouldn't have cursed at a customer, but she didn't consider Regina Mills a normal circumstance.

"It's freezing out here. Can we go inside?" Regina asked amusedly, ignoring the profanity that slipped from Emma's mouth at the sight of her.

Emma nodded dumbly and brought out her key. She fumbled with the lock, blushing at her obvious embarrassment. She continued making a fool of herself as she struggled with the lock and realized she was using the wrong key.

Emma blushed even more and finally got the door open. They both stepped inside, and Regina closed the door behind them.

"My, I did quite a number on you didn't I?" Regina chuckled at Emma's embarrassment.

"Well you told me you were a lesbian and fucking kissed me, both on the same day!" Emma exclaimed.

Regina frowned,

"I didn't know it would bother you; I'm sorry, Emma."

"No, it doesn't bother me." Emma sighed. It was difficult to tell Regina what she was feeling. "I just - we need to talk."

"Of course." Regina said gently, sitting down on a stool at the counter. Emma walked behind it, the counter serving as a safe barrier between them.

"I am insanely attracted to you. Not only to your looks, because you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, but to your personality as well. It's honestly incredible." Emma started. The typed list of questions stayed stuffed at the bottom of her bag, and she plowed on.

"But I'm 18, and you're 34. I don't see how this could ever work. And I don't see how you could want me." Emma sighed.

"Does the age difference bother you?" Regina asked.

"No, but -"

"It doesn't bother you. You think it'll bother me. You think that I don't actually want you." Regina stated.

"How could you? I'm a stupid young girl. I'm a loner. I have no money. I'm nothing." Emma sighed, unable to meet Regina's eyes. "You're a successful, incredible businesswoman who can have and do anything she wants."

"You truly have no idea how incredible you are, do you." Regina said incredulously.

"Emma. I don't want anyone else. You're smart and independent. You make me laugh, and I am constantly thinking about you. You started from nothing and you are working your ass off to be successful. You're admirable."

"Regina-" Emma said, squeezing her eyes shut. It couldn't work. It couldn't work. It couldn't work.

"Emma." Regina whispered back, her voice like velvet. A soft hand covered Emma's, and she opened her eyes.

"What do you want?" Emma whispered. She wanted to run. She wasn't prepared for what Regina was about to say.

"I want you." Regina said softly.

Emma choked at the words that had never been said to her before. No one had ever wanted her.

"You want this to be something serious?" Emma asked.

"Emma, I'm not looking for a fling. Please, give me a chance to prove it to you. You care for me, do you not?"

"I do." Emma answered immediately.

"Then, please, give this a chance. Give us a chance." Regina said, refusing to take her eyes off of Emma's.

Emma bit her lip. She was head over heels for Regina and her brain knew that it was probably a bad idea, but her heart was exploding, and it was impossible to ignore.

"Okay." Emma whispered.

Regina smiled. She pushed herself off of the stool and walked around the counter. She put her arms out ever so slightly and stood in front of Emma, allowing her to make the first move.

Emma fell into her arms in an instant, trying to empty all of the feelings she had towards Regina into the hug. It seemed to work, as Regina pulled her closer and stroked her hair gently.

"Thank you." She whispered.

The two stood there for what seemed like forever, embracing their worries and pain away and enjoying the new and unfamiliar warmth shared between them.