Another one of those art book things

I wrote a (not so) short story for a major arc in my timeline!

(There's a picture. Sorry it's so cruddy quality.)
So... This is Valerie "Hope" Cirfura. (The nickname Hope has a purpose and isn't just a DanganRonpa reference. I swear!)

Now... The story-

Valerie twirled a strand of her ice-blue hair in her fingers whilst waiting for Seth to come and give her instructions on what to do because you see, he was taking her to the place he goes almost everyday. She was ecstatic to finally be with her brother for a full day. After what seemed like an hour to her she finally heard a knock at her bedroom door.
"Valerie?" She heard Seth say. "Can I come in?"
"Yes!" She answered excitedly before rushing to unlock the door. After this Seth came in and sat in a chair in the corner of the room and beckoned her to sit on the rug that the chair was on.
"I need to run-down some ground rules before we leave." He then said smoothly. "First. You shall address me as Discorded Cataclysm or Discord for short while we're there. Second. You need a code name so think of what that will be while I speak. Third. You have to pretend like or be 14 to get in there. Fourth. You can't be alarmed if anything particularly..." He paused and looked at the floor before continuing, "Bad... happens."
"What kind of bad!" Valerie exclaimed.
"It's... Hard to explain... Especially to someone as young as you..." He answered.
"I'm gonna assume it's really bad if you can't tell me about it." She said putting emphasis on the really.
He nodded in response.

After a few minutes of nonstop walking they were there.
"So this is the the place he usually goes to." Valerie mumbled looking at the large building in front of them. It looked pretty run-down in her opinion but she followed Seth to the door. He stopped at the door, as did she. He knocked at the door in a certain pattern and a man, looking to be in about his twenties but still with white hair, opened it.
"Ah Chance. Good to see here. This is my sister." Seth said pointing at Valerie.
Valerie felt nervous, suddenly unable to speak. She just smiled and bowed.
Chance eyed her suspiciously. "She doesn't look 14 to me." He said.
Seth looked at him and said in a displeased tone "Ever heard of being short?"
Chance just nodded and ushered them in. He then walked over to a bar and got a drink there.
Seth showed Valerie around the dimly lit rooms before getting back to the room that they started at.
Valerie heard someone scream "WHATDYA MEAN I LOST."
Seth mumbled "Chance... What'd you get into this time." Before racing off to find Chance.
Valerie followed Seth through a row of tables before seeing Chance standing at a table with an angered expression on his face before he practically punched the table. Loudly.
A mysterious person in a black cloak sat across from him. "How do I get my money back." Chance said with an angered tone.
The person stayed silent.
"I said. HOW. DO I. GET. MY MONEY. BACK." Chance then exclaimed.
The person reached into a pocket of their cloak. They pulled out a small revolver and said coolly. "If you survive 5 shots you get your money back. If not well, you know what happens." Chance shakily took the gun.
"CHANCE NO." Seth screamed. "You can't survive this."
Chance smiled. "There's a chance." He put the gun to his head and fired. Nothing. A second time. Nothing. A third. Still nothing. A fourth. Still nothing. And at the fifth Chance took a deep breath. He fired. Bang. He fell over and the gun fell out of his hand as he hit the ground.
"WHY THE HELL DID YOU MAKE HIM DO THIS?!?" Seth exclaimed, his voice shaking with rage before he clenched his fists and punched the person in the cloak unaware of the knife in the person's other pocket. The person got out of their seat and got the knife out of his pocket and pointed it at Seth.
"One more step and you'll end up like Chance over there."
"I don't appreciate you mocking a dead man." Seth said before lunging at the person. The person stabbed him in the gut with the knife.
"Oh what a shame. He would've been a useful for master's plan." The person said before eyeing Valerie who was staring wide-eyed at them. "It seems like another one wants to die."He walked over to Valerie who was standing there bewildered, trying to take in all that happened, and aimed his knife at her. She stood like a deer in headlights before something grabbed her and flew out the door with her. Valerie realized this was a person and she struggled to get free before the person stopped.
"Who are you?" Valerie asked.
The person turned around to face her and Valerie realized, He had gray skin, butterfly wings detached from his body, and most amazingly the space where half of his legs were supposed to be were taken up by pixelated squares. "I aM gLiTCh. rUlEr oF tHe dEmOn WOrlD." He answered glitching out his words.
"And why are you saving me then?" She then asked.
"yOu... YoU hAvE... pOtENtIal."
"Potential for what!"
"YoU sHalL fInD oUT. yOu nEeD tImE tO lIvE... NOrMaLly... THeRe'S hOpE fOr yOu. JuSt tAKe tHiS." He then gave Valerie an amulet with three sets of wings on it. Angel, demon, and butterfly. She turned it over. An engraving read, Power only comes to the most hopeful. And she realized, Glitch was gone. She was let alone, in the woods. She panicked a bit and poof. She was back at her house.
"Huh?" She said bewildered. "How did I?" and suddenly, she understood. "I have hope." she mumbled before running inside.
-to be continued

955 goddamn words. 955

Do you guys think this's good?
I don't.
I doubt everything I do.
Criticism anyone?
I'm just gonna be a normal Seventh Grader that's failing English class now...