I woke up with a sharp pain in my tummy low, it wasn’t gas it was a hell of a lot sharper than that, it was as if someone was carving me with a screwdriver and I screamed out in agony. Kalib came in, barked, and licked my hand. I woke up and found I was drenched in sweat. Oh, thank god it was just a nightmare. I tried to turn over but the pain shot up through me and I shrieked out again. I looked down wondering what was happening to me and saw two dots of blood? Blood? But I couldn’t be having my period? I’m pregnant for god’s sake. Then I remembered reading something about spotting during pregnancy from that book Faine had gotten me to read so I could learn what to expect so I relaxed. The book said it was normal. I was 14 weeks pregnant now and so happy at the prospect of becoming a mom. I would never treat him or her as if they sucked the life out of me and drained me of my existence or that the baby was ever holding me back from living my life. Sure I was gonna be a teenage mom but my mother had made me feel like I was a virus that had infected her. I would never treat my child like that. From the first minute I realised I was gonna have a baby I loved it. I had a feeling that it was going to be a girl so when I rubbed my bump I talked to her and called her Ruby! Ruby and me were gonna do everything and be real good friends. I never again wanted to see the evil thing that insisted on calling herself my mother. I hated her before I got pregnant but even more so when she wanted to kill the one thing I loved more than life itself. I need to go to the toilet but when I tried to get up but the pain that flooded my body made me double over in agony. Tears filled my eyes and ran down over my cheeks. What is wrong with me? I heard a shuffling of feet and knew paddy was coming to check on me. Kalib had been whining which got his attention. I couldn’t even speak to tell him not to come into me. I looked down on the floor and saw drops of blood. I was mortified. Fear gripped me and my heart started to pound in my chest. Oh god, I thought as a thought hit me, I couldn’t be losing Ruby could I?
“NOOoooOOOOOOOOOo” I shrieked and paddy came in as fast as he could.
“What’s wrong a leanbh (child) are you in pain?”
I nodded once, in too much pain to say anything.
“I’ll get faine, she’ll know what to do” and he left the room. Kalib stayed by my side licking my hand every now and again. I had to get down to Faine’s she’ll help me. I tried dressing myself but every slight movement was agony… It felt as if a zillion knives were slicing through me. I could hardly breathe but I managed to get into the kitchen.
“I can’t get hold of faine; her mobile must be out of range. Hang on Lottie, where are you going? Come back love, one of them others will be up.”
“Thanks” I said through gritted teeth. “I have to find her.” I was breathing shallowly now, the pain had eased a bit so I was able to calm down and rub my bump, “Don’t worry Ruby, faine will help, we’ll be fine.” I said to her in my mind. “It’ll be alright, mammy’s here.” as I was talking to her I felt myself relax and I realised by trying to console Ruby I could distract myself enough from the pain so I managed to make it down the hill slowly to the lower field, and then I felt something warm oozing down my legs and the pain gripped me again. I stood frozen, silently screeching, I knew it was thick blood oozing down my leg.
“No Ruby, you can’t leave me, I need you, I love you, please oh please don’t leave me” I felt my heartbreak and I collapsed onto the ground and then everything went black.
Next thing I became aware of were voices. I didn’t recognise anyone in this dream. I thought they are talking about me. I heard a man say the baby is gone.
“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo” I shrieked not my Ruby, I was filled with such anger that snuffed out my ability to breathe or speak. I heard another scream coming from far away that seemed to join my chorus. Then I felt something sharp on my stomach and then heat finally flooded into my body and mind. GOOD! I was dying too so I could be with my little Ruby. The heat got warmer and hotter until I felt like I had stepped into a fire. Oh god, I have gone to hell. Guess the priests weren’t lying after all. Pregnancy outside marriage is a sin after all. Well I didn’t care. I had no one to love or to love me here anyway. Oh, god will this fire ever stop. Surely, I wasn’t so evil that I deserved to burn like this. I could hear someone near me and found this weird. Faine started speaking to me. She was so sorry I had lost the little baby. She smelt that the blood was wrong. What the hell, sorry god, but what was she on about? The blood was posionous. She thought it was me who was going to die? Aren’t I dying? Aren’t I in hell paying for my sins? Ruby is dead. Oh god, I felt my insides tearing even more and I felt myself snap and die. I was here but I wasn’t here. I was aware of faine changing my clothes, cleaning me and speaking softly to me like a real mother would. I had a tremendous feeling of the thoughts of honesty in the pit of my stomach. I heard a man saying earlier he had heard my heart flutter faintly and that my blood had become irresistible and he had to have a taste. What the fuck did that mean? There’s no such thing as vampires. Then again, if there were, knowing my luck, it would have to be me he’d bite. Cop on to yourself Lottie girl, there’s no such thing as vampires. I tuned in again to Faine’s ramblings. Did she just call me Seamus? Sheesh. Here was I burning in hell and holding stupid conversations with myself, being able to listen to faine at the same time. Since when was my attention so good? I had to shut down my feelings for Ruby, I can’t think about her now the burning is consuming my full attention. So I concentrate on faine and what she is saying… I feel like I’m being pulled in her direction to listen to what she is saying even though I really don’t want to. She’s saying the burning will stop soon and I’ll be like her. What? What does that mean? Who’s Demitri? Sounds Italian or something he ain’t Irish anyway.
Faine stopped fussing around with me finally, I’m sure all trace of my little Ruby was gone too. Nothing left of her to even bury. Oh my god, why did you have to be so cruel god? Why did you have to take her from me? I hate you and don’t care if I do stay here in hell and burning damnation at least here, I can feel something. I felt my heart rate speed up. It sounded like horses galloping across the beach. The same sound I had heard when the doctor had let me listen to Ruby’s heartbeat on his little monitor thingy. Oh Ruby, I never even met you but I feel so lost without you.
OH! My heart has stopped beating. Yeah, I’m dead. But the burning is gone and in it’s place is everything. I am completely aware of everything. I open my eyes and the first person I see is Faine. She looks different. It’s not just her eyes but her face. She look…..perfect. So much more beautiful than before. He hair that I thought was red had blondish streaks in it and her skin sparkles? What is she Barbie???? How have I never noticed that before? When she started speaking to me her voice sounded musical like she was singing not talking.
“Wait what did you say? I’m a what? A vampire?” I started to laugh at her and ended up screaming at her. I looked around me and realised I was standing behind the bed timidly. When did I stand up or get off the bed? I heard a low growl and looked around wilding for kalib. Who else would growl like that but there was no sign of my little friend. I looked around so fast again amazed that it wasn’t al blurry and saw Alec behind faine and two more people I didn’t recognise. They were stunning looking like faine and wow Alec too; wow he was a hunk why had I not noticed him before? The other two were short one dark haired girl and one blond man. All four were staring at me. I looked at faine again and said
“I’m thirsty, could I please have a drink of water.”
“You won’t like water now, what you need is blood!”
“Sorry, what did you say? I asked her incredulously “EW, that’s disgusting, I’m a human not a vampire, and can I just have water please.”
Faine looked to the other girl
“Alice would you get Lottie a drink of water please.” Alice nodded and was gone in a flash and as if by magic returned instantly with a glass of water and a glass of red wine.
“Oh yeah, lets toast the death of my baby” I said in a dead voice. Faine gave me the water
“Here drink but you won’t like it.”
“Why is it poisoned?” I asked not caring taking a sip anyway “EW, this water is disgusting what the hell, you water tastes like sick.”
“Give me the wine instead.”
“It’s not wine but have it I bet you’ll find it much tastier” faine said.
I sniffed the second glass and it was much more appealing.
“Mmmmmm this is delicious: I said and threw it back in one gulp. “More please.” Alice came back with about 6 small bags of wine!” wow, you’re trying to get me drunk aren’t ya?” she shook her head but smiled.
“No, but it’ll help with your thirst. You’ll need more but we’ll have to take you out hunting, this is the last of our supply.”
“Don’t you mean shopping” I muttered dryly and I gorged myself on the wine bags.
“No, hunting,” said Alec, “You’re drinking blood not wine.” he said. I dropped the bag while savouring the taste in my mouth at the same time.
“What have you done to me? And why am I drinking blood?” I screamed at him.
“You’re a vampire, you were bleeding a lot when you miscarried and one of the vampires here couldn’t resist and bit you and the fire you felt was the venom spreading through your body healing you and turning you into a vampire.” said faine.
“So, it wasn’t’ enough that I was losing my baby but a freaking vampire just had to bite me and cause me even more agony and why did the fuck did you think it would be okay to just change me into a freaking freaky vampire, who asked you to do that to me? I shrieked at faine. Why the hell couldn’t you let me die to join my baby I hate all of you. There’s no such thing as vampires there can’t be” I said, “fucks sake, I’m Irish. I’d have believed you if you said leprechaun but come on now I’m not that stupid” I sneered at them.
