Am totally pissed off. Why is it all the bad stuff happens to me? I have no freaking luck. First a crap childhood, my best friend got murdered, my boyfriend dumps me when he finds out I’m pregnant, my baby dies and then I get changed into a freaking vampire, then I meet a lovely guy who has the same sense of humour as me, who I thinks really likes me and then he fecking dumps me too. Just freaking great! What the hell do I do now? What can I do? Jordan and josh are happily building their new house for their new baby. God every time I say the word baby it makes me cringe and burns me with agony and loss. Will I ever get over losing Ruby? It’s been a few months now and it’s still as raw as ever. How am I gonna stand being around a new-born baby smell? It’ll kill me. Bastien dumped me because apparently my not being able to kill kids is messing with his head. Well tough shit, it’s not like he’s so fucking perfect anyway. Looking around at all the happy couples makes me sick. Even Gabriel has dumped me for his imaginary true love. I can’t stand being here anymore. What the hell am I gonna do? Hey now Lottie girl, you’ve dealt with everything on your own, so you’re on your own again……what’s new? I think I’m gonna leave for a while; see a bit of the world instead of being stuck here in Happyville and drinking fucking tomato juice for the rest of eternity. UH! NO FUCKING THANK YOU! I packed my few belongings and my baby photo scan and some clothes and my credit card into a knapsack. I intended on giving the credit card back. I probably wouldn’t be allowed to keep that seeing as I’m leaving. So I went downstairs and found Faine elbow deep in fabric switches trying to decide the perfect colours for the baby. She looked up at me and stared at me sharply for a second and was on her feet in a hair second.
“Nooooooooooooooooooo, don’t even thing about feeling that Lottie, you’re family here. You know you’re welcome always. Jordan and Valentina huddled around me and Jordan snuck her arm around my shoulder, hugging me to her. She said she was sorry for making me feel uncomfortable at how she was gushing and organising about the new baby as if she were pregnant. She had not forgotten my loss but was so excited she could hardly contain herself.
Course you are I muttered in my mind. But I’d put up my barrier so she could no longer read my mind. Faine looked at me sympathetically.
Great, now I’m the pity case! I thought indignantly. I shrugged Jordan’s arm off my shoulder, ignoring the hurt look on her face.
“I gotta get outta here, time for me to move on.” I said hearing Bastien’s words echoing in my mind and almost breaking down at the emotions they created in me. I needed to get outta here fast.
“Here” I said and handed Faine the credit card. She pushed it back into my hand and said
“No, it’s your money now Lottie you keep it and be safe” she leaned in and kissed my cheek. And hugged me even though I know my barrier burned her skin I felt her flinch.
“Bye!” I mumbled and ran from the house afraid I’d lose my nerve if I looked back. I ran blindly not paying attention to where I was going until I hit a tree. It didn’t stop me but it did slow me down enough to realise what I was doing. I stopped then and looked around and saw mountains everywhere all around me and trees. They didn’t look like Irish scenery exactly something about the air smelled different. I felt a pull in the direction to the left of me and ran and ran and ran until the pulling got stronger and I followed it. I dunno why I did but I had to go there something compelled me. I got to a beach and inside a cave I could hear a baby crying. I followed closely to the edge of the cave not daring to go in at first. But when I realised there were no humans nearby I slowly crept inside and saw a little baby swaddled in lots of woollen blankets. I could tell by the smell alone. They were like the blanket on my bed at Paddy’s house. I walked closer. Her blood seemed to sing to me but I wasn’t thirsty. She was human as far as I could make out. As I got closer still practically beside her I looked at her and she stopped crying. She stared at me before smiling at me with a full set of teeth. Yet she seemed to be a new-born. I was shocked. I was nervous now what if this were a trap? Someone obviously loved her as she was wrapped carefully. I searched carefully along the cave and noticed the baby had been placed above the water tide mark and was surrounded by a little wall of rocks so she wouldn’t roll off even if she moved. I check her out again and she hadn’t cried since she had first laid eyes on me and I felt her eyes watching everything I did. I walked up to her, satisfied that she was alone. There were footprints left by whoever left her but they were hours old and there didn’t seem to be anyone coming back for her. Why I wondered. And too her I said
