To save a Life

chapter 16

Blue

Darkness swirled around me. My emotions rushed into me as I slowly woke up. "F.uck!" I exclaimed under my breath as I took in a small room that I didn't recognise. "Blue! Are you okay?" Louis says as he rushes to my side. I groan. "I had one bloody wish." I muttered under my breath. "And what was your wish?" Louis asked in a quiet voice.

"Just forget it." i say as I take in the bruise on his face. I get off the couch I was lying on, and look around there's a door and a bathroom along with some furniture. "How's your face?" I ask. Louis shrugs. "He held back. I went bat-shit crazy and he just took it." Louis seemed upset by this. "How was, um, Harry doing?" I wasn't sure why I was asking. "He refused the first aid person that tried to look at him." I nod.

I loath the worry that gnaws at my stomach. "I hope you know that as soon as we get to Vancouver I'm leaving." I said hesitantly. "You'll still keep in touch though, with me right?" Louis looked slightly worried.
"I'll keep in touch." I answer, not certain about how true the statement was.

"Where is Harry? I need to tell him." Louis looked at me funny. "I need closure okay? I need to say goodbye even if he doesn't care." Louis shrugged but told me where Harry was. I hugged Louis tightly and I went to end things with Harry. I grabbed a first aid kit on my way to him, remembering that Louis said Harry refused to get patched up. And after my fair share of self inflicted injuries that caused many hospital trips, I know a decent amount of First aid.

I knocked on the door to the bathroom. "Go away," Harry's husky voice came from the other side of the door. I knocked again. I hear a quiet swear before there was shuffling and then the door opened. Harry's face had blood caked all over it with bruises and cuts. "Blue?" He says in confusion. I study his face and feel my arm raise and gently touch his face. He winced.

"Let me clean you up."  I say and push him back into the bathroom. I close the door behind me and make him sot on the toilet seat so I can reach him at my short height. I put the first aid kit on the sink and open it up. I turn back to Harry silently and start cleaning the blood off of his face and cleaning the cracks in his skin. "So, how do you know first aid?" He asks. I shrugged. "Being in the hospital a lot makes you lean a few things especially how to take care of some cuts."

Harry winced but not because of physical pain this time. We fell back into silence. "Why are you helping me?"  He asks in a quiet voice. "Why did you let Louis pummel you?" I retort. Harry lifted a shoulder. "I deserved it." "How do you figure that?" I push. Harry winced as I cleaned one of his bigger cuts. "Because I always do." He answered.

I didn't know how to answer. How had my happy Marcel gone to the sad, broken, and lost man that sat as a stranger before me. "I'm leaving." i say as I pack up the first aid stuff and throw away the bloody cloths. Harry remains silent. "But everything will be fine. You'll go on with your life and you'll forget about me again and you'll be okay." My voice betrayed me with a crack.

I moved to leave the room but Harry caught my arm. "I won't be okay. And I won't forget you again. Ever." I shook my head and pulled free of his grip. Just before I left I added, "You know, you didn't have to kiss me. Everything would be better if you hadn't." "No, I didn't have to, but I wanted to. And no Blue, everything would not be better if that kiss didn't happen."

I closed the door before he could add anything. How am I supposed to avoid him until tomorrow? At least he sleeps in a hotel and I can sleep in the bus again. Gosh why did I have to get abandoned by my best friend in America. I pushed my fingers through my hair, unsure of what to do now.

I wander the halls until I find myself outside. Even though it was probably not the best idea I take a pass that I was given, tuck it under my shirt and leave the safety barrier of the arena. Though a couple workers argued, I needed space. The doors for the fans opens in probably 4 hours and there are already a few fans milling around hoping to catch a glimpse of the boys.

I find a bench and sit down. I look up at the giant poster telling the world that One Direction are playing this stadium tonight. I look and Liam, Niall, Louis and even Harry. Harry looks so happy. Though I wish I didn't, I am happy that he has gotten to where he is today. I look down at my hands and pull the sleeves of my shirt up to expose my pale wrists.

My scars are disgusting. But though I think that and don't like pain, I still can't help but think of wanting to leave this life. To give up on everything. As my eyes tear up I get up and start walking further away from the arena. With my eyes blurred from tears, I accidentally stumble into someone. "I-I'm s-sorry." I stutter nervously as I realise I walked into a cute guy. Him and his friend looked at each other and then back at me.

"Are you okay?" One of them asked. I nodded. "Uh, yeah, sure. Sorry, you just kind of had a blurry face for a bit there. I wasn't watching where I was going." I babbled. The two guys gave each other a small smile when I said Blurry Face but then they looked back at me intently. I shifted slightly, uncomfortable with their scrutiny. "Well, just be careful please. You don't want to stumble into traffic." The one with the colourful hair said. I shrugged. I didn't really care if I did or not.

"Um, can we take you for some coffee or something?" I was taken aback by the abruptness of his offer but he looked at me as if he was seriously concerned. The friend with colourful hair gave me a warm smile. "Um, sure I guess." I said as I wiped my eyes again. "By the way, my name is Tyler and this is Josh." I give a weak smile to both of them. "Blue." I state and follow them into a coffee shop. What was I getting myself into?" How do I know that these guys aren't going to rape me or something. I mean I don't need anymore shit experiences like that.

We talked for a while and I found out that Tyler is married and they're both in a band called Twenty One Pilots. That's when the realisation hit that i recognised them and that's why I was comfortable about going to the coffee shop with them. I listened to their music. A lot. So I told them that. "Your music seriously helped me, well as much as music can. It made me feel not alone which was really helpful." Tyler thanked me and patted my shoulder awkwardly.

"Do you want to spend the day with us? When we first bumped into you, you looked like you could use some friends, and we're great friends!" I smiled. "Sure!" I checked my phone for the time to see that the stadium doors will be opening soon and that I had a million texts and missed calls from Louis. "Actually, I think I have to get going." I sighed.

I didn't want to leave them, they made me feel okay, just like Louis does. I shoot Louis a quick 'I'm okay' text and ask him a quick question. He was able to do it. "Sorry, instead would you guys like to come with me to the stadium around the corner?" I asked. They looked at each other and grinned. "You mean the one we will one day play in? Heck ya!" Josh exclaimed and Tyler grinned at his friend.

Maybe things wouldnt be too bad with friends like these.