To save a Life

Chapter 9

Blue's POV

I woke up, but didn't open my eyes. When had I fallen asleep? I tried remembering the trip home from the concert, but couldn't. That's when I realised a couple of things. My hand felt oddly heavy and my elbow hurt like mad. The last thing I noticed almost made me jump up. The bed I was in wasn't familiar, at all. Fear and uncertainty spiked throughout me. I flinched and jumped into a sitting position.

The first thing my eyes met when they opened were green ones as my face nearly crashed into another one. Harry. "Blue! It's alright. You're okay, yeah?" In that moment I realized the weight on my hand was Harry's larger one. I noticed this because he squeezed my smaller hand reassuringly as he used his free hand to gently hold the side of my face so I would look at him. "Marcel?" I breathed without thinking. His pale, dimple embedded, cheeks expanded as he let out a long breath. "I haven't been called that in a really long time." "I'm sorry." I said softly and looked away from him. "Hey, the only one who should be sorry is me. I shouldn't have left you like that. You continuously fought for me and that was how I repay you? Not acceptable. And though I know it to be impossible, I wish to try to make it up to you. You're my best friend Blue and I-" he cut off and my heart skipped a beat. "And I can't loose you again." He continued with a hint of sadness and regret in his eyes.

"I knew you could do it." I said, changing the conversation away from such a painful topic. "Do what?" He replied, not following. With my right arm I gestured to all of him. "Become the incredible person I always saw you as." I gave a small smile, but it seemed forced. "Saw? Not anymore?" His deep voice asked just over a whisper as he looked through his lashes at me. God he was so attractive now that he embraced the real him he used to always hide behind somewhat fake nerdy-ness . I sighed. "I honestly wish that were the case." I closed my eyes and laid my head back on the propped up pillow.

"What do you mean?" He asked, tightening his grip on my hand. I had honestly forgotten he was holding it. I looked down at our hands. His hands had always been so much larger than mine. But it felt right to see them twined together.

Noticing my stare. Harry jerked his hand away from mine and mumbled a half-hearted apology. Cold air tumbled over my now exposed hand making me frown.

"Ive continued to watch your progress over the years in One Direction. I kept wanting to feel mad, and I mean I did, a lot, but it was exhausting and you know I was never really good at hating people." My voice shook slightly. Because i loved you. I answered in my head. But didn't dare say it out loud. I wasn't even sure if I would like this new Harry, let alone love him.

I wasn't used to talking this much anymore. I finally looked up from my now empty hand and into Harry's eyes. They were still the same eyes of my best friend, the boy who knew me so well and could always make me laugh. We stared into each others eyes for a few minutes, silence filled the room. Harry's eyes were slightly scrunched together and my finger itched to smooth his forehead like I used to do when he would think too hard. But that was a lifetime ago and I wasn't sure if there was a way to go back to that time.

Harry's POV

I stared into her eyes for what seemed like forever. I used to be so mesmerized by them. I would always try to map out the green parts as apposed to the brown, but they constantly changed. Something was very different about them though, they used to shine and glow, now there was nothing behind them. She had light dark circles under her eyes now that there was no makeup on her face. Her nails were bitten, and there was a sadness to her that never used to be there. And that's saying something since she was depressed and partially suicidal the entire 3 years I knew her. What happened in the last 4 that made her lose the happiness I could always find deep within her.

Obviously you know the answer, idiot. I thought to myself. I got too busy and into my career and I forgot about her. Suddenly something jumped into my consciousness. Kate had said her friend lost her parents in an airline crash. I abandoned her and she lost her parents. I was all she had left but I didn't give her the time of day. I finally understood why she smacked me when we bumped into each other downtown LA. I would've smacked me too.

"I am SO sorry Blue. I know that that doesn't mean much, but I really, truly, apologize and will do everything and anything in my power to make it up to you somehow."  Blue seemed to contemplate my words before he replied, "it's fine." I nodded slightly but felt slightly confused. It couldn't possibly be THAT easy, women are always more difficult than that.

"So, erm, you lost your parents?" I tried to see a bit of the Blue I used to know. "Yep." She popped the 'p', but seemed too casual about it. I had to get my Blue back. "Are you okay?" "Yep, I'm fine." She popped the 'p' once again which actually was making me angry. "You don't seem fine." I stated. "Well that's not up to you now anymore is it?" She retorted. Her arms were wrapped around her torso protectively. Okay, I'm totally not doing this very well. I sighed and tried over. "I got you something." She finally took her eyes off the wall opposite from me, and looked at me, a slight hint of curiosity in her eyes. I pulled a small box out of my jacket noticing when she eyed it. I handed it to her.

"You were out for a really long time and part of it I wasn't allowed to be with you and I wanted to get you something as an 'I'm sorry, can we start over/feel better' kind of thing." I offered the box to her. She gingerly picked it out of my hand and sat up a little straighter. Her thumb pried open the box, lifting the lid. A small sound entered the quiet as she breathed in with surprise. Her face slowly went back into it's masked, sad self. She looked at me sadly with a hint of anger. Confusion swept through me. She shoved it back at me. "Who do you think I am? I don't want you're expensive diamonds, money like that means nothing to me." She looked away from me in disgust. My face fell.

"What the hell happened to you? You used to be kind and caring! So what it the bracelet has diamonds?! I have money now! You've changed and I'm not sure I like it." Blue scoffed at my words. "Yes I have changed, you want to know why?" She spoke and looked at me cooly. "oh for heavens sake, what else do you think I'm trying to figure out? I'm not just asking the questions to hear my own voice speak!" I was probably overacting and speaking a bit too loudly and angrily, but I was angry. I noticed her jump slightly at the loudness of my voice and instantly felt bad.

"The girl you knew died. She died when her parents died and the only person she wanted and needed didn't even remember her. She died when the only friend she had no longer cared. She died. I don't want or need your money Harry. I wanted and needed your friendship! I wanted and needed YOU. But you weren't there were you? And now you're throwing this expensive bracelet at me like you can just fix the problem with money. Well, you can't!" Her chest was heaving and she looked as passionate as the day she stood up for me in class. The day she got hit by a truck. "I'm sorry." I said, defeated. "And I'm sorry that that just doesn't cut it. I'm not one of the sluts you probably hang out with that just want your money, I don't want your money at all." I nodded and excused myself from the room. When I left I messaged the boys that she was allowed visitors so they could bring Kate.