We're Only Bad Together (BWWM)

Ch. 10 HTF (How the f*ck)

Eliza was right, I needed to sort my shit out with Dalton for the final time to clear myself of all the guilt I was feeling. If it didn't make me feel any better it would at least be a good place to start myself on the right track. I still haven't told Roman about the fiasco that was Dalton and I but I just couldn't bring myself to do so. Everything was going well for him, I didn't want to be that cause of hurt and pain to someone I love and cherish.

A month has gone by since I had talked to Eliza in the diner, we have had other small talks and meetings and the baby is doing well. She too continues to advice me to tell Roman but I still can't bring myself to it and I haven't spoken Dalton since our last encounter in the storage area. I was beginning to think that maybe in a few more months this could all blow over completely and I may not have to speak to anyone about anything and continue on with my life.

I had awoken early this morning with unusual inspiration and have been in my music room letting that sudden burst of inspiration flow through me. I have to say this ordeal has put a strain on my sanity but my musical abilities have not taken a negative toll.

I must have been up since about three or four in the morning and still felt the need to pen all my desires. Music seemed to be the only thing that calmed my soul for the moment and my music room was my sanctuary. I glanced at the time and noticed that it was 8am, I had let Rosa sleep long enough, it was time to wake my Rosebud up.

Rosa has her good mornings and bad mornings and today I have to say was one of her worse. Her attitude was in full force today but luckily I didn't have to handle it alone, Roman was home for two weeks before we all jetted off to Brazil to spend time with Roman's family for Thanksgiving Holiday break.

"Rosa." I spoke sternly with a fierce stare, demanding her to heed my warning. I was not in the mood for her fussy attitude this morning.

"I don't want to go to school today, can't I just stay home this one time?" Rosa asked leaning on the kitchen counter still in her pajamas.

"Rosa, escola é muito importante. Você tem que ir." Roman spoke of the importance of school to Rosa as he buttoned up the last button on his light blue button shirt. It was one of my favorites that he wore; I loved the color on him.

"Eu posso ficar em casa para hoje" Rosa begged her father to stay home just for today and I rolled my eyes she is impossible.

"No Rosa," I butted into their small conversation, "This is the last time I am going to tell you to get dressed, now go." Rosa pouted and I pointed to the stairs.

"I just want to stay home with daddy. No one in school speaks Portuguese but me and I'm tired of speaking English. All they ever ask me to do is say something in 'Brazilian' and the other kids that speak Spanish think I am just saying weird things in Spanish."

I sighed heavily, "You're father will be home when you get out of school and you can speak with him then, but you're going to school."

Roman sighed and knelt down in front of Rosa, "Sweetheart, Eu sei que é difícil para você, mas que sempre será capaz de falar. Você tem que ser forte agora. Ser forte para o seu pai."

I listened on catching the gist of the conversation. I didn't consider myself fluent but I could understand most conversations and hold one if required of me. I am very happy that Rosa is fluent and that her and Roman can connect on that different level but her not having any Portuguese speaking friends is not an excuse to not go to school.

Rosa nodded her head and went off to her room to get ready for school, which I am sure we are now going to be late.

"Jas, why don't you speak Portuguese while I'm away?" Roman turned and questioned me as I took a seat at the kitchen counter.