HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

short jokes...

In school...

teacher: "three birds are sitting on a ladder. Two of them get shot. How many are left?"

Student: "None,'cause the third gets scared and fly's away."

Teacher:"the answer is mathematically wrong,but I like the way you think"

Student:"Now I have a task for you. Three old woman are sitting on a bench and lick on an ice. The first woman licks it. The second one takes it in her mouth and the third puts the whole cone in her mouth. Which is married?"

Teacher:"the one who puts the cone in her mouth"

Student:"no,it's the one with the ring. But I like your way of thinking!"

Patient: “Doctor, Doctor, my arm is broken in three places.”

Doctor: “Well stay out of those places.”

Police arrested two kids yesterday: one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other off.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? – A stick.

Mrs Cameron, a primary teacher, was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong.

"All right children, let's take an example," Mrs Cameron said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?"

Little Tony raises his hand, and with a confident smile says, "You'd be his wife."

A man was complaining to a railroad engineer.  "What's the use of having a train schedule,If the trains are always late?"

The railroad engineer replied.  "How would we know they were late,  If we didn't have a schedule?"

An elementary school teacher sends this note to

All parents on the first day of school.

'If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school,

I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home.'

A Newspaper boy keeps shouting on the street:

“Big scam! Big scam! 12 Victims!”

A man decides to buy the newspaper and

while browsing it he discovers there is nothing inside it about a scam.

The boy keeps shouting even louder now:

“Big scam! Big scam! 13 victims!”

A boxer’s wife is woken up by

Some weird noises coming from the living room.

She wakes her husband up and tells him:

“Rocky! Wake up!

I think somebody’s in the living room for a private boxing lesson!”

Man 1: After buying this new hearing aid,

I am able to hear something two blocks away.

Man 2: Cool, how much did it cost?

Man 1: The time is three past ten

5 facts about You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You

1) Ur so lazy u didn’t read all the You’s

2) U didn’t notice I put a Yoo

3) U r now looking to find out

4) You are laughing because you realize there is no Yoo and you are tricked

5) You are going to send to others who are “like YOU”

Some actual product warning labels:

1.) On a New Zealand insect spray -

THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

2.) On a Sears hairdryer -

DO NOT USE,WHILE SLEEPING.

3.) On a bag of Frito's Chips-

YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.

4.) On Marks & Spencer,Bread Pudding-

PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.

5.) On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights -

FOR INDOOR,OR OUTDOOR.USE ONLY.

6.) On a Swedish chainsaw-

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.

7.) On a child's superman costume -

WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.

How Come The Dove

Gets To Be The Peace

Symbol ?

How About Pillow ?

It Has More Feathers,

Than The Dove

And

It Doesn't Have That

Dangerous Beak

Teacher: Johnny, I'm Glad To See Your Writing Has Improved.

Johnny: Thank You.

Teacher: Now, Finally,

I Can See How Bad Your Spellings Are!!!

Question by a student !!

If a single teacher can’t

teach us all the subjects,

Then…

How could you expect a single student

to learn all subjects ?

A.N/ sorry for the long wait,I hadn't got any ideas left...but here it is :)