Frozen Dreams

Chapter 10

Ivey and I were standing outside my dads bedroom door. Dad's working late and so is Latoya so I'm taking this shot. I looked at my sister who was biting her nails. "Are you ready?"

She dropped her hand and looked at me. I could see she was kind of hopeful, yet scared of what we might find. I was too.

"Yea."

I grabbed the door knob and turned it, taking a deep breath. I pushed the door open and walked in with my sister behind me. I walked over to the back of the walk-in closet where the storage is usually held. I picked up a box and set it on the floor sitting next to it. Inside the box was old yearbooks, journals, old photos, and photo albums. I picked up a stack of old photos as Ivey sat down next to me. Most of the photos were of Ivey, my mom, and I. I looked at the one on the top and smiled, a tear ran down my cheek.

"Remember this?" I asked Ivey.

She had tears in her eyes, but nodded quickly, "Yeah I do."

The picture was of Ivey on my moms back and me in between her legs. My mom was smiling and was looking up at Ivey. Her bright hazel eyes were sparkling with happiness.  Her brown hair was off to her side like the wind was blowing it.  She was so beautiful it wasn't fair. I was hugging a teddy bear with one arm and one of my moms legs with the other, and my gaze was far off, like I was looking at my dad behind the camera.  Ivey was mid-laugh and her eyes were closed.  Her arms were draped loosely around my moms neck. She was little then.  We all looked so happy. 

"I was 4 and you were 8. We were at the park just down the street kicking a ball around. You wouldn't let go of that stupid bear. I remember mom swooped me up on her back and ran around and dad decided that would be a good moment to take a picture. So you crawled between her legs as she tickled me. I don't know how I remember that since I was so little but...I do. It was so much fun and we were so happy."

I nodded hot tears filling my eyes and blurring my vision. I used the sleeve of my cardigan to wipe my eyes and sniffed.

"Yeah. She loved just going to the park and doing whatever. Dad was always taking pictures." I laughed softly remembering how even when we were just sitting on a blanket eating, dad had his camera out and clicking.
I realized that ever since she died, he hasn't really picked up his camera.

"That's was a little over a year before..." Ivey said but her voice broke before she could finish.

I put a hand on her knee, "I know."

She sniffles and I put the pictures back in the box and took out a journal. "I hope there's something in here that'll help us understand." I said flipping through the pages.

Ivey nodded and grabbed a second journal out of the box and started skimming through.

After a good half hour we still couldn't find anything. There was 3 journals total and I was halfway through the third one. I sighed putting the book down.

"There has got to be something in here!" I exclaimed, the frustration ringing in my voice.

Ivey grabbed the journal off the floor and flipped through a few pages.

"Oh my god," she said putting her hand over her mouth.

I perked up, "What is it? You find something?"

"Yes," she handed me the journal.

Sure enough the date was at the top-August 3rd 2008, and it was titled "She's Gone". I let out a small gasp. That was the date she died. I knew it like the back of my hand. I continued to read:

Naoni. I'm so sorry Naoni. So so so sorry. It's all my fault. I shouldn't have let you get out of the car. I shouldn't have fought with you. It had all started out so great. The kids were with their grandparents, we were on our way to dinner. It was gonna be great. Until we were on our way and there was yelling.... We started to argue, there was a red light...I stopped and turned to you and....I yelled at you. I'm so sorry I yelled at you. I don't even remember why we were fighting. I am so sorry.....you shouldn't have opened the door...

A teardrop fell on the page. What did this mean? The front door opened them closed jerking my head up from continuing.

"Hello?"

It was my father. Why is he home early? Ivey looked at me with panic in her eyes. I quickly threw the journals in the box and put it back on the stack of other boxes. I ran out behind Ivey out of his room and closed the door softly then I ran into my room with Ivey behind me. I plopped down on my bed and wiped my eyes so I didn't look like I was crying. Ivey did the same. I took a deep breath and Ivey laid down beside me.

"We're in my room!" I yelled down to my father and snuggled up close to my sister.

"He lied. He said it was a car crash. Was it a car crash?  It said she got out.. How could he lie to us-"

"Ivey stop," I positioned my sister so her head was laying on my chest and I combed my fingers through her hair. "Just relax."

I knew it was hard to. Hell, I was asking myself the same questions she was. But I had to be patient. We were going to figure this out once and for all someday soon. I needed to find the truth of my mother. Even if that meant losing the relationship with my dad for lying to me. I needed to know. Latoya was right, he couldn't keep this from us. Not anymore.