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chapter 9: things are changeing

I went home and tried my best not to talk to anybody. after what zayn and harry did my mind was just everywhere why did harry kiss me and most importantly zayn WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK. I mean zayn had this effect on me just a small kiss made me feel really hot my heart had almost stopped, like all these butterflies were freed from their cage and they just went crazy , but with harry I just felt kindness, he's so sweet but I really liked zayn and I saw harry like a really good friend. I don't really know.

now I'm just waiting for my mom from work it's late but I feel like I haven't seen her in forever.

by the time mom got home I had made her a cup of coffee for both of us to sit and talk but she said she was sorry and that she was tired and just excused her self and went to bed, witch only made me feel like a total dumb ass because well I didn't think she would have been tired and just said she couldn't talk and went straight to her room and when I went in a couple minutes later I saw her fast asleep with her shoes on and her clothes so I took her shoes and pants off and put a cover over her so she wouldn't be cold, that was the first time I had gone in her room since we moved in. there were white furniture and a big mirror on one side of the wall and there was like 4 doors that lead to places I wasn't sure they led to, there was a good part of the room with white carpet that was really soft and the other had like a marble hit to it couldn't really tell I walked over to the doors and one was the bathroom and a walking closet for mom and the other for dad and the last one was just a shoe closet for both but it had some stair to it so I walked in and saw that it had two flights of stairs to go up and as I walked up I saw it was dads ties and suits on one side and the other was moms makeup and her undergarments styled like a Victoria secret had them in the stores it was all so nice I thought what if I hadn't looked in my room. I got out of her room and went to mine and looked at the clock by my bed and well it was 1:00 am and well I just went to sleep because I was feeling a bit tired.

I woke up the next morning with my alarm as loud as it could be and now I was in a bad mood god why. I headed to the bathroom to take a shower. I was in a pissy mood about everything last night I saw my moms room and it got me thinking

what in the actual hell, last time i checked we were barely passing by and that's why we moved and now we have all these things what.

I got out the shower and wrapped a towel around my body and my hair.I walked into my room and got a pair of matching nude laced set of undergarments.i grabbed a pair of white ripped jeans and put them on, then i grabbed a mint colored flowy spaghetti strap shirt, i put on my socks and my sparkly vans. i then take the towel of my hair and do my regular process with my hair and also my make up. I walked to my make up table and did my regular make up.

I went downstairs and saw my coffee and a note

thanks for taking care of your mom love XXXX have a fantastic day at school baby girl love dad

dad always cared sooo much about mom and mom about him. Back a couple of years we were barely passing by financially and mom always told him it would get better but my dad didn't think so he always thought my mom could do sooo much better than suffer with him and then they had me and it got worse more expenses and until a 2 years ago mom got a job as a an intern in a hospital and they saw how talented she was and how fast she learned that she got all her studies paid and now she is studying  to be doctor. you see what I mean how did this all happen.

I got my bag and keys and my coffee and left to school. school had been it usual self harry bugging me about my tattoos and Lou ended up slapping him for asking did I get a tramp stamp. which I kind of found funny. Its the end of the day and since today I didn't have art I haven't seen zayn since lunch.