The Christmas Crusade [NaNoWriMo 2015]

The Christmas Crusade

epigraph

 ❝Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn't come from a store.❞ - Dr. Seuss

extended summary

          "We are the Christmas Crusade, here to- Oh shit, who the hell hangs metal candy canes above the fireplace, what is wrong with you!"

          In which a a reindeer hating Moose, Santa Claus, and a Jewish elf try to bring the Christmas spirit by breaking into the mayor's house, remaking the Polar Express, and kidnapping Dylan O'Brien.

Ho, ho, ho no

~~*~~

          Every year, the Redbrooke mall has their own Santa's Workshop, where the children of this pathetic tourist town can get their own slice of metropolitan Christmas life. It's a tradition that parents adore, children love/fear, and Moose Delancey despises.

          Moose Delancey hates her job as an elf at Santa's Workshop (you can blame Babs for that), but the Workshop decided to add something new: a challenge. The Workshop had decided they were actually going to get those kids exactly what they wanted for Christmas.

          Insane, right? (Sweet. But insane.)

          Moose and Babs sure thought so. But that changed the second the new Santa showed up. Elliot Kringle. Elliot was everything the old Santa wasn't. Kind. Charming. Young. Not a drug dealer. And the new Santa decided that this challenge should be mandatory; do it for the children.

          It can't be that hard, all they have to do is:

               ❅ break into the mayor's mansion to sneak in a pony

               ❅ kidnap Daniel Radcliffe and Dylan O'Brien

               ❅ recreate the fucking Polar Express

          And not to mention Elliot's own personal goal:

               ❅ bring the Christmas spirit back into the one elf who really hates those reindeer

Note

So this is my NaNo novel! Be warned that I did not edit these so there will be cliches and rough parts and some things that I will re-work, shift, completely trash in editing, so please just be kind to this piece of trash because I'm actually really excited to right this. So carry on!