It had taken me half an hour to drag Kyle back to our house. I had made sure to take backways and dark streets to our house so that no one questioned why a teenaged girl was practically carrying a teenaged boy. I was sure that would raise red flags for anyone I could have come across so I made sure to avoid any and all people. It hadn't been easy either. Though Kyle's subconscious seemed to know that I needed him to walk, his upper body hadn't gotten the memo that it needed to stay upright. Therefore, I was constantly adjusting him and trying to keep him leaning against my shoulder and head. I didn't need him hitting his head again.
We reached our driveway, the relief hit my muscles with a sweeping numbness and I felt a weight roll down my back. I could have fallen to my knees right then and there and drifted off to sleep. Of course, I couldn't and instead patted Kyle's back, silently telling him that we had made it home. My arms ached from keeping him upright, but I didn't succumb to the pain. I focused on getting Kyle getting up the stairs which had been no small task, but I was able to do it. When we reached his bed, I gently settled him and pulled his bloody costume off so he could sleep in peace. After that, I got a wet rag and wiped the blood off his face.
My hands shook as I touched the blood, knowing that it was Kyle's. He was unconscious, but I checked his head and didn't see a wound. The blood had come from the rocks that had cut into his arms. When I did whatever I did, Kyle had ended up faced down with his bloody arms under his face. That was why I thought he had hit his head or worse. Thank goodness he hadn't been injured beyond the deep cuts on his arms. I would have never forgiven myself if I had killed Kyle.
I felt like I had been punched in the stomach when I remembered that I had killed someone. I had actually ended another person's life and I hadn't even used a weapon! I hadn't stabbed, shot, or drowned him. No, I had done it with . . . How exactly had I done it?
I swallowed as I remembered the conversation that I had had with Yin just hours previous. She had already confirmed that I was different, that I had some kind of ability. I had just wanted her to wrong and to prove that I wasn't a freak of nature. Why did she have to be right? Why was this happening to me? I wanted to stop this from happening again. I didn't want this power, not if I couldn't control it and would only be able to hurt people. I want to be me again.
I stared at my hands, wondering with a shiver of fear what I was capable of. I had murdered someone and that hadn't been intention. What would I be able to do if I had gained more focus and discipline? My mind ran with fantasies of sending all the Jennifer wannabees at our school down a couple of flights of stairs and having all the Anthony's football buddies drown—What was I thinking?! I found myself wrapping my arms around me once again, trying to pull myself together. I couldn't and wouldn't go down that path. I couldn't even imagine it. I wouldn't become such a dark person. I didn't want to be a killer.
I just wanted to be me, the girl that didn't hurt her brother and lived a somewhat peaceful life. I wanted that desperately.
Then you shouldn't have killed Anthony, huh?
I whimpered at that thought. It had been an accident. I hadn't meant to kill him. I had meant only to see if I could hurt someone, not actually inflict pain! It wasn't my fault. It wasn't. Right? I wasn't sure anymore. My first instinct had been to kill Anthony, not to harm or distract him so that I could escape. Why had that been my gut reaction? Had I always been this way? I could have had this killer instinct deep inside of me, waiting for the right moment to surface. I could have been waiting, aching, for this to happen. Hadn't it been my idea to test someone I hated to see if I had an ability?
Suddenly, my skin felt stretched and my face felt like it wasn't truly mine. I could sense something crawling beneath my skin, smirking at me. I didn't know how I knew, but I had a feeling that something was going to happen. I just didn't know when or what. How could I stop whatever it was from happening if I didn't know anything?
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Syndicate Origins: Persona [NaNoWriMo2014, 2015]
Ciencia FicciónMae Dayfields is quiet, too quiet for a sixteen-year-old. Who could blame her? Her mother is dead and her father has buried himself in his work. School is hell for her, always being taunted and being the subject of many rumors concerning her status...