You'd Be North

two || crash & burn

"I don't need you hovering over me all the time! I'm going to get into dangerous situations. We all do. Why can't you just face the fact that it's our job?"

"And why can't you face the fact that I know exactly what we do; exactly what I signed up for?"

"Deeks-"

...

50. 55. 60.

The numbers on the speedometer kept on climbing, but Kensi didn't care. She couldn't bring herself to care. She'd always been a reckless driver. That's what Deeks always said-

Damn it.

Every thought she had just somehow performed a complete one-eighty and spun all the way back to her blonde-haired partner. Every. Damn. Thought. And of course, those thoughts led to guilt. It weighed down on her shoulders and gnawed at her stomach, slowly beginning to consume her. He didn't do anything to her. He had only been trying to help. And, in typical Kensi-fashion, she had overreacted.

Maybe it was because she couldn't stand to see anyone get hurt for her. Especially not Deeks. So when he stepped in front of her and took the perp's pistol-whip to his temple, a blow that was very much intended for her, she just kind of lost it. He was even knocked unconscious until Callen and Sam were able to take the guy down, a fresh gash opened up on the side of his head.

And then, back at OSP when he made some joke about being the hero who saved the damsel-in-distress, she had walked out of the mission without a word. He had followed her, naturally, trying to figure out what was wrong. She had turned sharply on her heel to face him, and when he saw her glare his broad smirk slipped right off of his face, whatever clever one-liner he had dying off before it escaped his lips. And when he asked her what was wrong, his blue eyes filled with concern and he even called her Kens and god, it was so hard to remember what she was going to say.

But she had remembered, and she had berated him for taking that hit. He had gone on the defensive, pulling the I-just-wanted-to-protect-you card with a hurt and confused look on his face, like he didn't understand what he had done wrong. Which of course, made her even more angry, causing her to reply sharply and for them to get into an argument. Said argument led to her storming to her car, slamming the driver's door shut behind her, and speeding away, leaving him just standing there, hands in his pockets and genuine hurt on his face.

"Agh!" Kensi slammed a hand on the top of the steering wheel as she thought back to the argument. She was so stupid! He was only trying to be a good boyfriend, partner, whatever, and she had flipped out like a crazy person.

She felt tears beginning to burn the backs of her eyes but ferociously wiped them away.

...

"You're being irrational!"

"And you're being unprofessional!"

"No, I'm being your boyfriend."

"Exactly! And you clearly don't know when to be my boyfriend, and when to be my partner."

"I'd do the exact same thing no matter which one I was! And I'm both! I can be both!"

"But you can't, Deeks! Not in the field."

"I can! God, I can! But I don't want to lose you!"

"That! That's the problem! I knew this was a bad idea!"

"Oh, so it's a problem that I love you?"