Chapter 12
Cade Felix Thompson
A Tough Decision
My eyes stay glued to the television, to the news I've been watching. I can't believe that I'm so selfish I didn't notice that Chad's eyes are puffy and red, like he has been crying a lot. My heart shatters at the sight of him tired and exhausted. And my guts keep telling me that he has been through a lot, and that he has just passed the worst nightmare.
On the headline, it says: Richard Neil Sky's wife had a heart attack.
I have never seen him cry, and I can't afford to. His wife. His wife has just died because of a heart attack. I don't know if I should be happy or not. I'm so cruel. My heart clenches again, because he begins to sob helplessly, and I want to put a gun in the reporter's head and blow her brain out. Chad is crying out loud, and here the reporter is, trying to get a scoop about his dead wife.
Shutting the television off, I stand up and massage my temple. Chad is in pain right now, and I want to comfort him, but... I can't. I have no right to be there for him when I left him in the first place. This shouldn't have happened at all if I had had a balls back then. I run upstairs, ready to get my laptop and search every information related to Richard Neil Sky. I want to know where he's living. I know that if I ever show my face in front of him, he would punch me real hard. He doesn't want to see me anymore, I think. Hell, I bet he doesn't want to hear my name, or my voice, or even see my shadow!
But I should take a risk. I know that there's a low chance that he'd want to talk with me, or even want to see me, but it's worth the risk. If I take the risk right now, at least, I can say to myself that at least I tried to get myself out of misery. But knowing myself, I won't stop until he forgives me.
As soon as I get the laptop on my bed, I immediately turn it on, waiting for a couple of seconds until it reaches the homescreen. I open up a browser and go to google.com. When the Google page loads up, I hastely type 'Richard Neil Sky' and hit enter and the first recommended result is from Wikipedia. I click the link and read the entire personal life section.
Richard Neil Sky is the son of the owners of the Sky Inc., Melani Sky and Douglas Sky. Richard has already a son, Noah Gerald Sky, with his ex-wife, Noemi Panther. But right now, he's currently married to Genny Cecil Sky, who has just died of heart attack.
The Wikipedia personal life section has just been edited. I read the entire page of Chad's Wikipedia page and find out that he's living just 20 miles away from me. That sends a shiver made of nervousness down my spine and I relax myself. I need to do this. I need to apologize. I need to comfort him. The personal page is awful. People are gossiping a lot, and I know I kind of gossiping too, but I have my reasons.
Taking my car key on the nightstand, I wear my coat that is hanging on the chair and get immediately out of my house. When I see my car, I open the lock and the car makes a sound and I hop inside, putting the key in the ignition and the car roars to life. Fishing my phone out of my pocket, I turn the screen on and unlock my phone then open up the Internet browser on the phone. I need to find the exact address of Chad's house. They have to be on the internet somewhere.
When I get the right address, I immediately close the Internet application and open up the Waze application and put it in the direction that I have found on the internet and the Waze calculates something and then it gives me the direction to the address that I just put on the phone. Taking a slow deep breath, I grab the steering wheel and in seconds, I'm already hitting the road, looking at my phone every once in a while just to check if I'm going to the right direction.
I drive slowly so I can calm myself. I want to see Chad so badly, and it pains me to hear or see him in pain. It just breaks my heart. There are so many thoughts running in my head. Questions like: would he be able to forgive me? Does he want to see me? Does he miss me? God, he just lost his wife and here I am, asking if he misses me or not.
But what shocks me is the question that just popped into my head seconds ago. Did he love me at all when we were in High School? Gripping the steering wheel tight, I calm myself again because I'm getting nervous at the thought of him seeing me again for the first time since the hill. I have no idea how he would react when he sees me on his front porch. I mean, I have a slightest idea; maybe he would throw a candle at me, or worst, curse me and kill me? But knowing Chad, he'd probably punch me. But then I never really know Richard Neil Sky at all.
He told me a lot of things about him back then. We liked to talk to each other, but then I always think that it wasn't enough. I want to know what happened after I left him, but I'm too scared to face the truth. The fact that I left him heartbroken is a proof that he probably went through a lot of drama and pain in his life. Who was there to put the broken pieces of his back back together? Did he fix himself alone?
I know that Chad has a tooth for sweets, that he's basically obsessed with cakes, that he liked to be a teacher someday. When I asked him why, he just gave me a shrug, but then he spoke, "I guess just to make students have a detention even if they didn't do something bad or awful." I laughed hard at that. Then he gave me a grin, and I kissed him, and he kissed me back. He was so adorable and handsome and freaking cute that day that I just wanted to take him home with me and make love to him endlessly. I also know that he likes to watch sappy movies instead of action movies because according to him, it seems weird to watch people die. But then I countered him on that thought; I told him that even in romantic movies, sometimes, lead characters die. But then he was like, "No, I haven't watched a romantic movie where the lead character died," and I was like, "You watched Titanic, and Jack died," and he told me, "No, I watched a different Titanic. I know that Jack died. And it's not romantic at all. Like, do you find it romantic when Jack painted a picture of Rose naked? No, it's not a romantic movie. And I have watched a different Titanic," and I just agreed with him because arguing with him was like arguing with a mannequin. He was never going to listen. But then he pushed the topic further. He continued, "Plus, it's not romantic that the ship just got eaten by a sea. No, that's horrible. That Titanic movie is not a romantic movie. It's more of a thriller genre than romantic because the movie is thrilling! You never know who's going to die. You never know why there's an iceberg in the middle of the sea! So it remains a myster. And oh by the way, I asked Mr. Bondoc about that, about Titanic, you do know he's a History teacher. I asked him about the Titanic and you know what he told me, Titanic should have been a horror story rather than a romantic movie. I don't know why. Don't ask me." I just listened to him ramble and then I got bored of his rambling because the next thing I knew, I was kissing him and he was kissing me back.
Smiling at the precious memory, the Waze application speaks up, telling me that I have arrived to the destination and when I see the people wearing black, my heart clenches again from the pain. Then I see him.
Chad is wearing a black polo shirt, and it's tucked neatly into his black pants. He has matured a lot. His eyes are still as light as the sky above. His body hasn't changed. Well, it got bigger. He has muscles, like he has been working a lot lately, but still, he still has the body that I had fantasized ever since I met him. Not well built, not really thin, just average. He has gotten a little taller, too.
He looks into my direction and I'm glad the car's window is rolled up and is tainted so he can't see my face. I give him a small wave, even though he can't see me, and a tear slips down my cheek and I brush it off with my thumb.
I miss Richard Neil Sky. I miss my Chad.
************
I'm sorry I haven't been able to publish this chapter earlier. I was watching #ScreamQueens and I was so caught up in the show that I forgot to publish it. But I hope you forgive me now. Please?
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