Dating The School's Mr. Bully (BxB)

Chapter 21: The Reasons - Part I

Chapter 21
Richard Neil Sky
The Reasons - Part I

My whole world, once again, crumbled when Genny Cecil Sky died because of a heart attack. Genny was such a lovely woman, and she would do anything for her son, Gloss Kaiser Schlund. It felt like the world that I had rebuilt had been destroyed again, and this time, I didn't know how would I be able to recover. It felt like this was the end of me. I guessed I didn't have enough luck to have a good life. When Genny came into my life, she fixed most of the broken parts of my heart, and I loved her because of that. And now that she's gone, I had lost one of the most precious persons that I'd treasured in my heart. Just like before, Genny left without any good-byes, and it broke my heart to see her lifeless body.

She and I met not so long time ago. When I visited someone in her old hometown, his name is Topher, the bisexual guy that was so open back in High School, Genny and I met at a famous restaurant. She was with her friends and they were talking happily. She didn't look like she had a husband or boyfriend, so I mustered up a courage on talking to her, or on getting her number. Genny was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She was flawless and for the first time, I felt the strong beat of my heart. Sure, I had had a wife before, but she cheated on me and ran off with some other guy she just met or something. We didn't have any contact with each other anymore. She left Noah and I. So we cut off the ties officially. Sure, I did love her, but not I had loved Genny and... nevermind. Fortunately, Genny gave her number to me and from then, we started talking through texts, then through calls, until we decided to meet each other again. She told me she had a son and her husband died because of a car accident. Genny and I started slow, tried to keep a low profile about everything because we weren't sure about what we felt about each other, and then it became clear when we found out that we had so much in common. We dated more, kept seeing each other more often, then we got together 2 months after, and then I asked her to marry me, which she agreed. It was a matter of time before her son and her moved into our house. When I first saw her son, Gloss really looked like her mother, with I assumed, had his Dad's features. Gloss was really a good-looking guy, and also a good kid. He really loved her mom so much and when he found out that his mother died, he kept crying and crying until tears were not pouring out of his eyes anymore. The only ones he had right then was me and his boyfriend, my son, Noah Gerald Sky. We were all broken because we really loved Genny, and it was hard to accept the fact that she was no longer alive, that she's already dead. We couldn't comprehend what happened. The most affected was Gloss, since him and Genny were really, really close.

Even though Noah, my son, didn't show how this was affecting him, he tried his best to comfort his boyfriend, Gloss. He was also hurting inside and knew that he could do nothing about it. When Gloss cried himself to sleep at night, I would hear Noah crying. And I wasn't there to comfort my own son because I was fucked up also. Noah was trying his best to comfort all of us, but it was hard. He told me that he needed me also because he couldn't afford to see Gloss hurting and also me. I told him I was sorry and that I needed to fix my own shits but whenever I thought of Genny, my heart was always getting hammered, breaking it into pieces and pieces.

The days turned into weeks, and we couldn't really move on. Whenever we woke up, we would think of Genny. Usually, when we woke up, she would just scream and tell us that breakfast was ready. Sometimes, if nobody of us got up, she would barge in our room just to wake us up. I missed her hugs, her smile, the way her forehead creased when she was curious or confused. I missed everything about her. I missed her laugh, her chuckle, her being playful around me. It felt like I was going crazy. I've had enough shits in my life, and I wasn't sure how to deal with it anymore. I was so tired of my life.

Gloss wasn't talking for days. He had isolated himself in his room. He didn't talk, didn't have the appetite to eat, and sometimes, Noah and I would just find him staring at a far distance through his bedroom's window. Noah would just give him a cry and together, they would cry and I would leave because the sight would be too painful for me to see. I didn't have any power to control my feelings.

Have you already felt that you knew that you're fixed and fine already, then all of a sudden, you're broken again? It happened to me a lot of times and yet, here I was, always trying, always giving my best, always being good and I was so sick and tired of it. But I guess this was my nature. Dad and Mom raised me this way.

Two weeks after Genny had been buried deep in the ground, I had talked to her about her mom, about how Genny really loved him and Gloss told me a story about her mom. As always, Gloss told me how playful her mom was and how she tried to join into the cool mom organization back then to her old hometown. She never got accepted though because the members thought she was lame and all, but Genny was really determined, so she made her own clique and that and surpassed the cool moms. She was a badass, according to Gloss. And as we told stories about Genny, we both cried and told each other how much we missed her.

Topher, upon hearing the news about Genny, contacted me as soon as possible and asked me if I was okay or not. I told him that I was okay, but it was a complete lie. Topher knew I was lying but he didn't push further. He told me if he could go here and I told him not to since I didn't want him to see in such a mess state. He understood and said that he'd call me as soon as possible.

Genny was not just my wife, she was also my best friend. I told her about what happened in my life. Everything. I did not leave anything. Even Cade Felix Thompson, my first love. I thought Genny would be disgusted and would divorce me, but instead, she embraced me and accepted me. She told me that it was fine to have feelings for a guy and that there was nothing wrong about it. I told her Cade left me without saying good-byes and she just gave me a long, wide hug. From then, we never spoke again about my past and carried on with our life. We were so happy together. Everything was perfect, until she died. I was left broken once again.

That was the time I wished my Mom and Dad were with me to help me in this type of situation because I wasn't capable of handling these dramas in my life. And as much as I'd like to have their comfort, they were already dead and I needed physical comfort. I'd like someone to give me a hug, tell me what's wrong, or just lay by my side. If my mom were here, she would have given me a lot of candies and she would have bought me a big cake just for me to devour or something. Mom really loved me, and when they both died, I was depressed. For months.

The only one I had was myself and I needed to fix my own self. I believed Noah could handle Gloss. I knew I should give them a comfort, but for once, I needed to be selfish. Every night, before I went to sleep, I would talk to myself, or I'd try to feel if Genny's presence was around the house, but no, just like a blocked room, there was no air. I felt nothing, and that time, I realized that Genny would never be in my side again, that she would never come back. I decided to put her pictures in a box, just to avoid seeing her face anymore because the image of her smiling, knowing that she's dead, would just make me want to curl up into a ball in the corner and cry myself to death. And I could not do that at all, because Gloss and Noah still needed me. And I promised Genny that I would take care of her son.