No Copyright intended
So here is the story that was sent to me by the devilish deviant that is my number one assistant. This tasty little tidbit of sickeningly sweet slaughter is called
The scrumptious summary of this tale of tastlessness is that the Cutie Mark Crusaders make an impossible bet against their favorite foes Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Instead of taking their defeat lying down, the cook up a devious scheme to beat them at their own game. They can't buy their candy like the rich fillies they're competing against, but they sure can make it. However, they mistakenly use some pages out of a book of Nightmare Night legends in Twilight's library and then the fearful fun begins.
So, I cannot express enough how much I like this story. It's really one of my most favorite I've ever had the chance to read. It's well written and does a great job with atmosphere. It actually starts off with a very well written scene of gore that doesn't pull any punches. It's grotesque and gut wrenching, but not in a way that'll blow off any semblance of realism (as realistic as a world full of magical talking ponies can get). There is some beautiful gore going on here, and it is truly amazing that someone can pull that off convincingly.
It's arguable who the main characters in this one actually are, as the focus changes rapidly from character to character as they experience the horrors of an old Nightmare Night legend. Although we start off with the Cutie Mark Crusaders being the focus, and they act as the catalyst for the events that occur, it seems more like a story about Pinkie to me. Pinkie is, in the end, the "hero" here. She is the one that knows the legend and attempts to counteract the madness that ensues. On the other hand, the focus switches quickly to Twilight and her experience, which is the one we're left with and that gives us the full story. The epilogue gives us a little Luna, which I feel really cements the evilness of the evil in this story. Not even the goddess celebrated on the holiday in question is safe from the monster. It's really a beautiful use of third person omniscient voice.
I'm going to try and discuss the tropes without spoiling anything, but I highly suggest reading the story before the following analysis so it isn't ruined for you because there is no easy way to put some things without ruining big parts of the plot.
The monster in this story is, for once, not one of the main six. Instead we are given a monster from history. In fact, I don't believe the evil entity they face, The Candy Mare, is the real monster at all. Interestingly enough we can actually view the monster as the victim in this scenario. It's vaguely reminiscent of Pinkie Pie as the monster in that she is usually genuinely sick or had been wronged in some way that makes her become a killer. In general, as far as pony stories go at least, the characters that are the monsters of the stories have been grievously wronged in some way which gives them a more sympathetic bent. Granted there is no excuse for whole sale slaughter, it does give the character a motivation beyond "they're just evil" and provide the depth that the story requires.
However, as much as the story doesn't rely on the "monster" being the evil destroying the peace of Equestira, it does involve some of that tasty dark history I love so much. Not only are we given a nice hint of that old timey racism in which unicorns considered themselves superior but we are also given a world in which ponies could simply disappear in Equestria without anyone noticing or caring. We're given a world in which there is no true peace and murder is something somepony can get away with it.
Another thing to note about the characterization is the true monster in the story. If you are reading this before reading the story (why haven't you read it yet? For chrissakes just go click the link!) I'm not going to spoil it for you but we get the real monster as being a truly careless character. Granted he is sick, he also lets his sickness give him reason for doing terrible things. I think the motivations are absolutely perfectly played and makes him into less a cartoonish stock mustache-twirling bad guy and more into the horribly realistic serial killer type. I honestly seldom see this and it's a true breath of fresh air to read something that goes so in depth with this concept.
All the ponies are the victims here. There is no one pony that can really be pinpointed as suffering the most. As much as you can argue that the CMC had a huge part in actually causing the chaos, they are still victims. Nopony is really spared from the slaughter as the effect on the few that live are no doubt profound. I will tell you this, two of the most common victims are actually spared from "on-screen" murder. They escape, one by not appearing at all and another by being able to run away from the mess from sheer luck. I was pleasantly surprised because I was just waiting for their death scenes and when they didn't come I realized that the author didn't take the easy way out and it made me smile. I don't know if it was to throw the Grimdark readers a new twist or because he didn't want to write death scenes for those two ponies. Either way it's a great twist.
There is another great twist in there that you, if you've been paying attention, will totally see coming but makes the story all the better. It really nails the Grimdark home and brings the story nicely to a close.
This story has a whole lot going for it and I'm so glad it was sent to me! There are some nods to the fandom in there that I found very amusing. The best part about them was that they weren't too overbearing or out of place. There was no "*wink**wink**nudge**nudge*" going on, instead you would spot them if you knew the joke, but it wouldn't detract for readers who don't participate too much in the fandom. The use of language throughout is excellent. There are a few errors, as always, but nothing glaringly bad. The characterization is spot on, and the author didn't go too overboard on the AJ and AB accents (which I see fairly often and it gets me every time). The only thing I can even remotely criticize is the glaringly obvious twist, which I'm almost certain was an artistic choice so that makes it okay.
So that's it. I was so excited with this story that I couldn't let it languish. My number 1 assistant said this one was long, but s/he has no idea what I was cooking up before s/he sent it to me.
'Til next time, take care of yourself and maim your brother!
